What To Do With The Raw Data


These days pretty much everybody has raw data, as part of their work or their recreation or that horrible new blend, the recre-career in which you do what you want to do for a living, only without earning any money, in the hopes of building enough of a buzz to make a killing on the world molybdenum markets. The trouble is what to do with it. Here’s a recipe from my grandmother that pretty near always worked:

Ingredients:

  • 3-5 cups raw data
  • 2 cups flour
  • 1/4 cup milk (skim OK)
  • 2 tbsp murfrews [ we can’t read her handwriting ]
  • 1 tbsp anise
  • 2 tsp tbsps [ we think she was joking here ]
  • 1 tsp shelled morplex [ obviously a copyright trap ]
  • chives

In salted pan, stir data, milk, anise together. Sift with flour into unsalted pan; dice with morplex until finger poked in belly produces giggles. Add murfrews, mix in morplex again if you forgot any. Bake at 350 or what have you until golden-brown; sprinkle chives on the cat [ She didn’t have a cat; maybe she copied the recipe from somewhere ]. Place on unpanned salt, cover with salted unpan. Correlates 4-6.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

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