Ineffective New Police Programs


Location Program
Plurke’s Folly, NY Seeding rumors of police zeppelins
Coral Peak, FL Giant horseshoe magnet with “CRIMINALS” written across base
Borax, NV Town closed up in 1938, abandoned since
Smuggler’s Cudgel, VT Giggling sessions to leave miscreants feeling too self-conscious to continue
Tracks, WI Painting pair of disapproving eyes glowering down from taller buildings
Joist, AK or maybe AR, whichever one’s Arkansas Monthly civilian outreach programs teaching butter sculpture
Flinch, ONT Turning lights on and off all night
Philadelphia, PA Trying out that eyes thing Tracks just did

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

Please Write Something Funnier Than I Thought To

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