- Listen to everyone around you tell you have to take a lot more zinc, while wearing zinc-lined clothes, eating raw ingots of zinc, in a zinc-plated room, while thinking of zinc-related thoughts such as “fluidized-bed roaster smelting technology”.
- Singing George of the Jungle‘s theme while your voice is briefly in the correct register.
- Wrapping your pillows in a blanket, your blanket in a comforter, and your comforter under that bed canopy stuff, and sneaking out to a movie.
- Start arguments in online forums with your innocent question about why searching for a file in Windows never, ever finds anything.
- Bring your cold out with you to the lake to buy an ice cream, and while it’s busy ordering, drive away.
- Enjoying that thing where you can just stare at a point in the wall and it feels like the universe is tumbling around and you’re twisting up into a spiral and if this carries on you’ll never get your shirt un-knotted from your stomach.
- Going out in your superhero guise with the face-covering mask, on the theory that it would be so horrible to sneeze or even have a runny nose while covered up that way that your body would sensibly refrain from doing so. Sorry.
- Get into a screaming match with the spell-check about how to correctly spell “gesundheit”. There is no way to correctly spell “gesundheit”.
How about bartering with it for two other healthy people and a bottle of whiskey? Are we allowed to negotiate with infectious diseases?
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Sounds good to me. Who do we know who’s healthy anymore?
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Someone who doesn’t have a cold. Bring out the inner real estate agent in you. Sell the health.
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#1 is right up there with echinacea in my world. lol.
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Really? Huh. I didn’t even know people smelted echinacea.
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