Also, Just Hush, Benjamin Franklin


Yup, so, I was out cutting wood today. It was wood I was fully authorized to cut. And really, what better way is there of cutting wood than hauling a big metal thing and swinging it down on an unsuspecting spider (sorry about that, spider), until you lose all sensation in your arms?

Obviously, the better approach is to simply grow smaller trees, ones that never get to more than about a foot, maybe a foot and a half, tall, so you can skip the cutting altogether. Better than that, though? Hire an itinerant woolly mammoth to grab the blocks in his trunk and toss them from a great height into Pointy Rock Canyon. Then even if the rocks don’t split the wood up right, you’ll still have lost them in a canyon, thus solving the problem.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

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