I don’t buy a lot of stuff online, because apparently deep down I still believe it’s 1995 or something, but this offers the benefit that I get to enjoy the big marketing computers flailing around desperately in the attempt to figure out what else I might want to buy. So I get suggestions like this from Amazon:
You recently purchased Billy Bragg’s Greatest Reminders That You’re Voluntarily Collaborating With A Corrupt System and … uh … Leapfrog Explorer 3: Dora The Explorer Searches For Spock? The Heck? You might also like:
- A History Of The United States Weather Bureau Through 1960, by Robert D Whitnah.
- The Blu-Ray edition of forgotten 1980s sitcom Mama Malone for some reason.
- A 14-foot-long mass of undifferentiated blue-green matter.
- This one potato chip that looks like a significantly larger potato chip.
- Two dollars off a purchase of auto parts maybe?
- Staples, all sizes, all colors, some of them made of pearl.
- Maybe a cohomology group of an unexpected order? I dunno, you’re the math major.
All this is quite silly, of course, because there’s only one thing that I really want. It’s the same thing everyone wants: to occasionally have a day turned into a great one by hearing somebody unexpectedly playing the theme to Shaft. Don’t tell Amazon.