You Might Also Like


I don’t buy a lot of stuff online, because apparently deep down I still believe it’s 1995 or something, but this offers the benefit that I get to enjoy the big marketing computers flailing around desperately in the attempt to figure out what else I might want to buy. So I get suggestions like this from Amazon:

You recently purchased Billy Bragg’s Greatest Reminders That You’re Voluntarily Collaborating With A Corrupt System and … uh … Leapfrog Explorer 3: Dora The Explorer Searches For Spock? The Heck? You might also like:

  • A History Of The United States Weather Bureau Through 1960, by Robert D Whitnah.
  • The Blu-Ray edition of forgotten 1980s sitcom Mama Malone for some reason.
  • A 14-foot-long mass of undifferentiated blue-green matter.
  • This one potato chip that looks like a significantly larger potato chip.
  • Two dollars off a purchase of auto parts maybe?
  • Staples, all sizes, all colors, some of them made of pearl.
  • Maybe a cohomology group of an unexpected order? I dunno, you’re the math major.

All this is quite silly, of course, because there’s only one thing that I really want. It’s the same thing everyone wants: to occasionally have a day turned into a great one by hearing somebody unexpectedly playing the theme to Shaft. Don’t tell Amazon.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

Please Write Something Funnier Than I Thought To

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