The Ballot Questions


The polling place was fairly quiet, because it turns out locally there were three races being held, and they were only able to find two candidates. To make it feel a little more like things were exciting they added a couple of ballot questions, reprinted here:

  1. How was trick-or-treating at your house?
    1. Like nobody came, what’s the problem here?
    2. Last year there were like two kids, this year about seven thousand, what’s going on?
    3. I’m still getting ready for Orthodox Halloween next week.
    4. I think I’m the last person alive who still likes eating Heath bars.
  2. That Toronto mayor with the crack video:
    1. Yeah, sheesh, what’s with him?
    2. It’s some kind of performance art.
    3. I didn’t even know they had crack in Canada.
    4. Bill De Blasio?
  3. Did you get robo-called yet today?
    1. You’re robo-calling me right now.
    2. I set my phone on fire so you’d stop calling me.
    3. I’m the one shrieking at you to stop robo-calling me already.
    4. I have a kangaroo to listen to stuff on my phone.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

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