Maybe We Should Just Skip To Second Contacts


A space alligator-cyclops makes ready to throw a boulder at things.
The cover to _Wonder Stories Quarterly_, Summer 1930, provided by PeterPulp of DeviantArt

The Peter Pulp account over on DeviantArt put up this cover, from the Summer 1930 issue of Wonder Stories Quarterly, and I guess it just shows how poorly we all handled First Contact back in the day. Obviously, I don’t know who started the fight, whether the wide-hipped spacemen with the guns or the alligator-cyclops, but as things stand now, the brave spacemen of tomorrow have to figure out a way to carry on their mission despite the near-complete destruction of their Bounce House. I don’t envy them their task. I’ve never been able to recover from more than a goat-hydra chewing on the restraint bar of my Tilt-a-Whirl car.

You know, I am guilty of assuming this is a matter of the alligator-cyclops throwing rocks at the Bounce House. But from just the still scene I don’t know if he’s actually busy removing rocks from it. He might be the hero of this scene, freeing trapped spacekids within, and what is he getting for his trouble? All the bullets he can eat. I bet that’s what happened; isn’t it always like that when you try helping spacemen with Bounce Houses, in your experience?

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

4 thoughts on “Maybe We Should Just Skip To Second Contacts”

  1. Thanks for posting this! I never read the original story, but I have seen the movie. As you may know, this story was the basis for the classic film “Gatorclops vs. Robot Toadstool”, which debuted on Saturday, August 29th, 1931 on the Scientifiction Channel.

    In the climactic scene pictured here, Gatorclops (who has been bringing space boulders to our planet in order to create a rock garden for the friendly Earth people), has discovered an infestation of giant robot toadstools which threatens a nearby patch of Kentucky bluegrass. His attempts to stomp out the invaders have been thwarted by his poor depth perception, leaving fully 2/3rds of the mecha-fungus untrampled.

    Just when all seems lost, intrepid adventurer Biff Claypool, who was out riding with his trusty sidekick Rusty, reaches into his jodhpurs and pulls out his steam rifle, which he fires directly at Gatorclops in an attempt to open his pores and moisturize his rough, scaly skin, a consequence of carrying rocks between his home planet of Kepler-99.44a and Earth. Meanwhile, Rusty encourages Gatorclops to eschew the use of boulders in favor of a good left hook.

    I won’t ruin the ending, but stay through the credits for a bonus scene that sets up the sequel, “Biff Claypool and the Wonders of Fall 1930”.

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    1. I had no idea! I’ve got to see what my old-time radiotelevision sources have about the movie. I’d never have thought to try punching fungus, which is one of the reasons I’m not anybody’s hero.

      Like

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