Found At The Farmer’s Market


Apparently now they sell plastic bags full of bright orange cheddar dust, the kind you mix in to make macaroni and cheese that glows bright enough you can see it from inside a black hole. It was just sitting there on the shelf, next to the Wheat Germ Or Stuff Like That and the Powdered Flaxseed Food Product I Guess and things like that. I didn’t buy it, but if I can think of something to do with it I will. I don’t need it for macaroni and/or cheese purposes, but I haven’t ruled out something like hooking it up to the tire pump so that I can have a backyard filled with cheese-dusted trees. But trying that is sure to attract attention from the squirrel community and I don’t know if I want that, exactly. I just want the magic of having some solid reason to buy a large plastic bag filled with powdered cheddar the color of public art sculptures.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

5 thoughts on “Found At The Farmer’s Market”

  1. Someone learned how to melt down traffic cones and put it in pasta, that’s all I’m sayin’.

    Make your own little crime scene by ripping open a stuffed toy mouse, jabbing some orange dust inside, and then leaving an uneven trail of it back to a giant mousetrap. Set it all up in the bathroom. Then invite some friends over for drinks and wait for the fun to begin.

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    1. Then, while your guests are investigating the bathroom, rearrange the furniture; pour the remaining cheese dust into the glasses; do your best to look disheveled; and, when the guests return, take a sip of the dust, say: “I suppose it’s just irresistible, and feign death.

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