The Regrandest Gift of All

There’s a Sears near us, which isn’t that surprising. There are Sears stores near literally millions of people, left over from the days when they were the anchor stores to malls and serving to this day as spots where the restrooms aren’t too busy and the electronics sections have a different wash of sadness from what Radio Shack offers. But the one by us is a little unusual in that it hasn’t got a mall attached; it’s just free-standing in the midst of a sea of parking lot. A couple weeks back the Sears had put up a sign, declaring their “Regrand Opening”, surprising me with the news that they had been closed, apparently? Also that “Regrand” is a word? I was so curious about this I almost went to the store but I guess I had other stuff to do instead, somehow, and kept on driving home, past the Fish and Chips place that just took off the “Arthur Treacher’s” from the name and otherwise made no alterations to their sign or decor whatsoever, far as I can tell. The Sears still seems to be there, but the sign has gone away.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

13 thoughts on “The Regrandest Gift of All”

    1. It’s what’s had me so fascinated! I’ve been kind of hoping I need to run to the bathroom and don’t have time to go all the way to Petco or Michael’s instead so I can find out what madness has transpired within. But not too much.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. A house turning into a Wachovia sounds pretty convenient, but I just know I’d end up having a PNC account.

      (Actually, the nearest branch of my bank is, without exaggeration, 330 miles away, but there are good reasons for that, mostly that they’re not in my state or in any of the states my state touches.)

      Liked by 1 person

        1. When I was living in Singapore I actually had a bank branch that was just next to where I worked, but was also in a hospital. This made it really exciting when the SARS epidemic came, because, have you ever been required to put on a (surgical) face mask before going into your bank? It made transferring a little money seem so outrageous.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. you know what’s funny,i’ve had little children and asian men in elevator overlooking georgetown ask me if i have sars . i wear a mask / bronchitis and i have actually taken it off before going in a bank, b/c i am afraid they might think i’m a


        3. I’m a little surprised, since SARS has been so unremarkable for so long. But, yes, it felt really, really creepy to go in and do my bank business while wearing a mask.

          There was a bit in Singapore during the epidemic when yes, someone did try robbing banks while wearing surgical masks, which seems like just inviting the Gods of Irony to come down and slap you silly.


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