Caption This: From the first season of Star Trek Enterprise

Two Andorians hold phase pistols on the regulars while T'Pol's head pops up into view.
In the episode The Andorian Incident, the crazy paranoid overly suspicious Andorians think there’s a secret spy base inside a Vulcan Space Monastery. They’re right, but can only prove this by the traditional method of getting anything done on Star Trek: Enterprise, which is punching Captain Archer over and over and over. Which is fine with everyone.

What really enraged the Andorians was the relentless Vulcan campaign of photobombing.

(I’m interested what other folks might make of this, especially given that lovely woodwork in the Vulcan Space Monastery.)

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

13 thoughts on “Caption This: From the first season of Star Trek Enterprise”

    1. Aw, now, that episode’s not even close to Trek’s worst, never mind TV’s. Remember Voyager gave us the episode where going really fast turns people into lizards, and the Original Series gave us “The Alternative Factor” where a man from an antimatter universe has poked a hole into ours, ending the entire universe’s existence for a few seconds before it all went back to normal, in order that he can confine his matter-universe evil-twin who murdered his antimatter-equivalent’s whole planet rather than let the antimatter-parallel-world go on existing.

      Then there’s the G.I.Joe episode with the whales …


        1. Ah, a movie I haven’t gotten to see yet. (There’s just so many to see, is the problem.) But there’s a good number of movies they could sensibly draw from. Sadly, in the second season, they’d draw from Blazing Saddles without realizing it was supposed to be a joke.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. “Now that we have captured the P’Jem Monastery and Salon, I will prove that even with these stupid antennae in the way, the Andorian people are light years ahead of you pinkskins in hair care technology! Notice how sleek Andorian hair dryers are compared to this unwieldy Vulcan model. So, Archer, to prove our superiority, I’m going to give Sub-commander T’Pol here a more flattering style, no matter how many seasons it takes! Keval, prepare the shampooing basin!


    1. I love it, and I especially love the idea that the Vulcans might get some decent haircuts again. It’s alarming to think the 60s might have been a high point for non-embarrassing Vulcan hairstyles, even when they were done up in shellacked beehives.

      Also I’d love any useful advice for what to do with my antennae. They tangle awfully.


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