People liked my compilation of things I didn’t use in August articles. I’d like to offer some more but I had fewer humor blog scraps in September. So let me throw in some scraps from other writing projects. Good luck doing what you will with them.
- I do have shirts in solid colors that are going to seem sad in as many as two years, when we know better about fashion. But they don’t seem regrettable in the ways everything I wore in the 1980s did. I’d like to blame it on whatever problem we were having with color from 1975 through about 1988, but no, I’m just bad at picking out stuff. Also at the 80s Dance Night I wasn’t wearing anything with unauthorized holes. I reached the point in life where I stopped wearing clothes that had appreciable and major holes in non-clothing-appropriate places three years ago. Except for just wearing stuff inside the house or if I’m not figuring to meet anybody.
— cut as unneeded from the 80s Dance Night essay
- you unspeakable arrogant monster of vanity and entitled narcissism
— cut perhaps wisely from a letter to an estranged friend I’m trying to make up with
- I was going to be embarrassed that I bought Johnny Mnemonic from the video store but I paid cash so they couldn’t know who I was
— cut because I actually paid by credit card, and to a cashier who recognized me because she and her friend who was just hanging out there helping out, apparently, both know and sometimes work with my love
- that can often be good
— cut from a little conversation when I remembered that it really can only be good about one time in five, which just isn’t often enough
- the powerful message communicated by having a lumpy potato dog inhale a distraught cat through his nose
— cut from a discussion of Saturday’s Luann comic strip
- and after the fracas the mop was left abandoned in the street. sometime over the night, a car ran over the mop.
— cut because it was too sad that someone lost their mop over the incident, really