Remembering Dustin Hoffman, Who Is Fine As Far As We Know


So you know that thing people do, when they’re cranky and set in their ways and don’t have smart phones, where they try remembering stuff themselves? My love and I were trying to do that the other day. Specifically we were trying to remember stuff about Dustin Hoffman. Mostly we were trying to think what he’s been up to lately. This is maybe presumptuous because he probably isn’t busy thinking about us, and we don’t have any reason to think he’s trying to sneak up on us or anything. If you know otherwise I’d appreciate a warning. I understand if you are Dustin Hoffman and are sneaking up on us and decide not to warn us. It’s only fair if you take your innings in secret.

And we were trying to remember what he looks like nowadays. I think it’s only fair if he is sneaking up on us that we know what to look for. Anyway, the last thing I could remember seeing him in was Rain Man, and that came out a long time ago. If you remember when it came out, don’t go looking up how long ago that was. But then I remembered that we’d seen him in a much more recent movie, Sphere, which was not actually all that recent.

Also we aren’t really sure we saw Sphere because it was just kind of on in the background. Again as best we remember he was there as part of a team investigating a … time-travelling holodeck on the bottom of the ocean? Is that right? And they had like a room full of copies of 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea where everything after page Like 182 was blank? Anyway, that’s not all that recent so it doesn’t give us much guidance about what Dustin Hoffman looks like anymore. I’m pretty sure he did not play the titular Sphere, anyway.

If I am mistaken about any of this, please let me know, before he pounces. Also, did I remember Sphere right? Or at least right enough? I guess it’d be nice to know.

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there.

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