A Vignette That Is Made Up Yet Also Entirely True


“And you know what the annoying thing is about vegetarians? They always tell you they’re vegetarians! You can’t sit down next to one and suggest that you ever ingest any form of nutrition without them pointing out how they’re vegetarians. And how everyone else would be too, if they were even slightly decent people. They just won’t let you be in peace, they’ll shove their vegetarianism down your throat,” declares, to no one in particular, the guy three unoccupied seats down at the bar who’s wearing a Woot-class T-shirt that reads “Bacon-wrapped bacon is my spirit animal”. I grin as noncommittally as I can while continuing in silence to eat my red-bean-patty olive burger.

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there.

8 thoughts on “A Vignette That Is Made Up Yet Also Entirely True”

    1. That’s a good way to deflect a potentially awkward situation, yeah. I had the good fortune to start seriously eating more vegetarian at the same time that I moved to a new state, so nobody had any reason to know why I was doing something different from what I used to. That is not to say I haven’t gotten more than one McRib since moving here.

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      1. I guess it’s just that because I didn’t make it clear why, it becomes awkward for them to ask, and the subject always gets changed! Or maybe the phrase leads to too many questions and they can’t pick one fast enough! I’ve never brought it up myself, though. It’s always only been a response. I agree with you that smiling and nodding is usually the best way to deal with unexpected social awkwardness! 😊

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    1. I basically never hear people telling me they’re vegetarian, except when the specific question of whether anyone has any dietary preferences or restrictions has come up. What I do hear are complaints and jokes about how vegetarians won’t let people not know they’re vegetarians, or vegans. And, of course, that’s against a particular cultural background.

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