- You forgot to put the recycling out!
- If you’re on the landing exactly at midnight New Year’s Eve you can get into the secret extra floor there.
- There’s somebody, anybody, back east who knows you’re in the Eastern Time Zone.
- That shield bug in the bathroom that’s been motionless and on its back for two weeks? It’s not dead yet somehow.
- There’s still a Radio Shack in town.
- You will never be perfectly confident that the faucets are turning off correctly.
- Tucked inside the wall you can never get a picture nail to stick in? That’s the canvases of 19th century moving-panorama showman John Banvard’s famous half-mile long painting of the Mississippi River, once the toast of American and European theatrical performances, and thought to be completely lost.
- Oh, the basement, let’s not even.
- The button you never use on the dishwasher is for its twelve-minute Licking Cycle.
- That’s no home, that’s some 60s black-and-white French science fiction movie in which people grunt about how the essence of mankind is love and faith, courage and tenderness, and then getting shot until they fall into swimming pools at the direction of the all-powerful computer god, which is played by a heat lamp behind a box fan.
My, those Michigan shield bugs are tough little critters.
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Worst of it is they’re not even Michigan natives! They’re invasive species from, I believe, eastern Asia. Fortunately they’re only clumsy rather than truly obnoxious. But they are very clumsy.
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Obnoxious and near indestructible. Bet they’d make excellent politicians.
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Aw, that’s an easy joke to make. But have you ever found a politician curled up helpless on your bathroom counter? It’s not easy to turn your back on.
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I must admit, whatever their other faults, politicians have never gone anywhere near my bathroom counter.
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There you go. Probably stays cleaner that way. Certainly it’s less likely to get broken without anybody on it.
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That’s very true. Yay for politicians! They have done something for me after all. 🙂
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This is why I’m here: people need to better appreciate their politicians.
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Okay, you’ve convinced me. I should cut them a little slack sometimes. 🙂
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