On Reasons Not To Visit Prehistoric Australia


Yes, I also saw that news report about Australia’s prehistoric “marsupial lion”. According to it, according to a study, the marsupial lion turns out to be a thing that (a) existed and (b) could climb trees. I don’t know what a marsupial lion would be doing in a tree. And it’s not actually any of my business. Why shouldn’t a marsupial lion climb a tree in Australia, if it can find one?

Except I know anything about Australian wildlife. And therefore I know the marsupial lion must have been poisonous, venomous, razor-tipped at no fewer than 68 points of its anatomy, and prone to exploding as a defense mechanism. BBC News’s report on it says they would have been “a threat to humans”. Not this human. I’ve never gotten closer than 1,700 miles to Australia, and I haven’t got closer than about 42,500 years to marsupial lions. I’d like to think I’m outside the blast range. If I’m fooling myself, don’t tell me. Let it be a surprise. I just know it’s coming.

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there.

4 thoughts on “On Reasons Not To Visit Prehistoric Australia”

  1. I saw a 1:1 scale model of one in the NSW State Museum in Sydney a few years back. The model was knee high. Unlike the giant wombat model (size of a Kodiak bear) or the 1:1 scale dinosaur that had hit me in the head with its tail a few minutes earlier. Best not to ask about that. I think the guy inside the costume couldn’t see, and I tend to blunder into things anyway. My wife thought it was funny.

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    1. Oh, I do understand about guys in costumes. It’s extremely hard to see through them. You’re lucky the dinosaur didn’t drag you off without even noticing. Some outfits can be just that bad.

      I admit part of me is delighted by tails whapping across people though.

      Liked by 1 person

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