And Then There Was This At The Store


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hand sanitizer. 'Collect all 4!'
It’s the command to “collect all 4!” that gets me. Should we be encouraging compulsive behavior like completism in people buying hand sanitizer? Think of the dried-out, raw-rubbed skin, people.

So I have to figure the target market for this is people who are figuring to go to a bar tonight, and know there’s a fair chance the bathroom will run out of soap, and they want to do something about that, but only if doing something about that involves getting to compress a computer-animated rendition of Leonardo.

And if I’m wrong? I’m not ashamed. Anyway I talk about some mathematically-themed comic strips over on my other blog, so you can look at that instead.

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there.

6 thoughts on “And Then There Was This At The Store”

  1. Death to bacteria, fungii, protozoa and viruses, all in one handy alcohol-infused glycerine gel. And with turtle ninja power. I wonder, though… I had a bottle of the stuff in my car’s glovebox for emergency use. It evaporated, fairly quickly, in the heat. Was it because I hadn’t used the turtle-branded stuff? Or just the fact that it has a boiling point rather less than that of the human body, making my car glovebox more like a sauna than a storage place?

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    1. I do, I grant, keep a tub of this sort of isopropyl in my car. I try not to go crazy using it because I am a tiny bit compulsive about this sort of thing, but it has been hours since I felt the need to wash my hands in both of the house’s sinks.

      I haven’t had it evaporate, not appreciably anyway. It’s tucked inside the little side compartment on the door, which might help. And I’m in Michigan, so from about September through July there isn’t really sun, just a vague grey-ish haze of scattered indirect light. But the car is black so it should heat up well enough.

      The only time I’ve really urgently needed it was when we went to a drive-through safari and a camel grabbing at the feed got snot all over the interior. And there the wet wipes were more useful than the isopropyl, although I was glad to have it in a supporting role.

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      1. The evaporation incident mainly happened over a couple of weeks in summer in Hawke’s Bay, NZ, which has a climate basically identical to Santa Barbara (so much so that city architects in Napier stole Santa Barbara’s entire ‘look’ and ‘feel’ architecturally) – a modern car interior easily reaches 120 degrees F by mid-morning if it’s not ventilated. A few years back I spent half a day amidst the annual ‘art deco’ party in Napier, where they celebrate their 1930s Santa Barbara heritage with vintage car parades, cosplay etc – it was just on 100 degrees F in open air, with due effects on closed cars. My main worry that day was whether my DSLR would hit its max allowable operating temperature. It didn’t, though I ended up hitting mine…

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        1. I’m impressed by the heat. My ancestral homeland of New Jersey gets that hot a couple weeks of the year. My current homeland of mid-Michigan (lower peninsula) has managed it a couple weeks since I got here, though the last couple summers were surprisingly mild.

          I haven’t had weather that threatened my cameras, although I did have a portable CD player get its LCD display blacked out by some combination of heat and direct sunlight. Happily it came back when I put it in some shade and some normal room temperatures. At least it eventually did, though the player felt a little dodgy ever after, like it was offended by its bad treatment.

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  2. A brilliant marketing strategy that hits all four of the major demographics. Teenagers have hands, and love to collect things, including germs. Mutants also have hands (sometimes) and enjoy people, places and things with an X in the name. Ninjas are believed to have invisible hands, but are really drawn to the 99.99% kill rate. And turtles, while not having hands per se, are unsanitary, and have hard surfaces and rigid beaks. As a result, turtle handlers might appreciate a product that is tough on turtle-borne salmonella germs while being soft on hands that may end up covered in turtle bite marks.

    Plus the bottles are trial size, which means that should a high school turtle handler happen to be bitten by a radioactive ninja, causing his or her hands to mutate into something that could no longer handle turtles, a defense attorney would not have to worry about contaminating defense exhibit B (a tortoise-shell shiruken) with his filthy germ-laden lawyer hands.

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    1. No, you’re right. I hadn’t looked at how this could be a four-quadrant product to sell. And that trial size bottles would make it easier to present in court.

      Still, it’s the collect-all-four bit that keeps getting me. It just feels like inviting trouble.

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