I Just Need You To Tell Me Of Course I’m Completely Right About This


So given that the International House of Pancakes we went to over the weekend saw these phenomena:

  • They were “out” of crepes, a thing made on-demand from eggs, milk, and butter.
  • They could not split a check between three people at the table because, the server told us, that old policy made it too easy for dine-and-dashers.
  • According to the sign at the register they no longer sold gift cards by credit or debit card but by cash only.
  • The server asked us for advice on where in the area to buy a new SD card for his phone because apparently he took it in for servicing and they swiped his old bigger card for a smaller one.
  • The server also talked to us a bit about how his phone’s news app normally required him to log in to stream any programs but for the inauguration it didn’t.
  • Another sign at the register asked for comments to be sent to an address at Yahoo that had number in the user name.

So check me on this: there’s, like, at most a four percent chance we were at a legitimate IHOP and we were really at some weirdly elaborate counterfeit, right?

In short: always go to pancake places late nights on the weekends. You’re missing something otherwise.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index stayed level through most of the day of trading until someone pointed out this would make it look like they weren’t doing anything. “Well,” said someone, “why don’t we raise it by three points?” This was reduced to two points in committee. The someone was Louis, who’s been taking the blame for breaking the George Foreman grill last week.

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there.

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