Poking Around The Body Shop When You’re Getting Old


You know you’re becoming an adult when you go browsing at the Body Shop, and you spend some time looking over the newest stuff, but. Yeah, the webbed hands are always kind-of desirable. Wireless ear hotspots. The extreme-heat-resistant tongue, just great for those most extreme coffees. Laser nostrils. In-wrist bag-of-holding pouches. A detachable belly button that you can leave at home when you’re afraid of losing it.

And then you go down and put “non-squeaking knees” down on your wish list. That’s when adulthood is getting to you.

You know you’re really old when you don’t even care that they’ve got finally got eyestalks this year that work right.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

Please Write Something Funnier Than I Thought To

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