- After three overtimes the game will be settled by a fifteen-word spelling bee.
- A regulation field is 120 yards in length, 53 and 1/3d yards in width, and 1.16 light-seconds in height, extending six feet, two inches below the surface of the ground.
- Any kind of zebra, whether talking or not, is specifically prohibited from playing in the Super Bowl.
- Team uniforms are not allowed to be chroma-key green.
- The zebra’s also prohibited from the Pro Bowl, Conference Championships, and the Divisional Rounds.
- No licking the ball after the two-minute warning.
- Yes, a zebra is allowed to play in the wild-card round, but only as a field goal kicker.
- All players must exist in no fewer than three dimensions of space and one of time.
- If by some chance the offensive team gets to a 7th Down that’s automatically one point.
- It’s a 20-yard penalty and loss of possession for four or more players on the offensive team to blep their tongues out simultaneously while behind the line of scrimmage.
- No player is allowed to wear his helmet either backwards or on either foot during the game. (However, this rule has never been enforced at the professional level.)
- It’s prohibited to use the player’s bench as a workbench for light carpentry projects.
Source: The Kaiser’s Merchant Ships in World War I, William Lowell Putnam.