My Excuse For Today, Which Is A Different Day


Again I’m sorry, and I should know better, and I think on some level I do kind of know better. But I’m just all upset about this week’s Inspector Danger’s Crime Quiz because once again Werner Wejp-Olsen has come up with a minute bit of crime detection that I just can’t buy and this is far more important than everything else on my plate right now, including whether I actually finish a project for work. And at the risk of bringing the productivity of all of you to a screeching, crashing halt, I want you to see the strip and agree with me strongly that this is just daft.

Danger: 'For more than two weeks The Strangler has been terrorizing this area and ... ' Bystander: 'STOP! ... Somebody has been mugged!' Danger: 'The Strangler has struck again!' Female victim: 'H-He tried to strangle me from behind with a belt --- my purse is gone!' Bystander: 'Outrageous, that's what it is!' Danger: 'Relax, buddy, this Strangler is behind bars before sunset!' Bystander: 'Ha! That remains to be seen!' (Back in the car.) Danger: 'She didn't mange to get a look at The Strangler. Let's circle around, Alfie, so ...' Male Victim: 'OH-oh!' Danger: 'The Strangler has struck again with a few minutes!' Male Victim: 'My money!' Bystander: 'Ha! The police have failed again!' Danger: 'I promised that The Strangler would be behind bars before sunset.' (Points snub-nosed revolver at Bystander.) 'I always keep my promises! Mr Strangler --- you're under arrest!' ANSWER: Using his belt to strangle his victims the different positions of the buckle [ it's been reversed ] before and after the second mugging gave The Strangler away.
Werner Wejp-Olsen’s Inspector Danger’s Crime Quiz for the 12th of February, 2018. Watch, in five months Wejp-Olsen’s going to rerun this strip, only it’s going to turn out the guy is innocent because the second appearance is by the guy’s identical-except-for-being-lefthanded twin, trying to frame him, and somehow being lefthanded makes you put belts on the wrong way around. Which I’ve never noticed someone doing, but would be willing to accept as a thing that a human being might possibly do under some circumstance, unlike this.

And I’m sorry, no, I will not accept that somebody just happens to put his belt on the wrong way. No. That is not how belts work. I may have many legitimate questions about how belts can work, but this is not one that is in dispute. OK, they’re not legitimate questions I have; they’re more one little bit of nonsense that you could confuse a child with but not someone who’s looked at his or her pants.

(OK, here. Friction can’t make something cling vertically. But if someone’s standing up, their pants are clinging vertically to their body. And I majored in physics as an undergraduate and nobody addressed this nonsense contradiction, which is at least as big as the how-can-bumblebees-fly nonsense.)

In short, I do not see how anyone can be expected to get anything done when the comics are sharing lies about pants.

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

2 thoughts on “My Excuse For Today, Which Is A Different Day”

    1. I just bet you The Strangler went and gave it to Reeky Rat, who’s trying to explain to Slylock Fox that he totally did not take the woman’s purse and you can tell that because he was getting this iced lemonade from the snack stand by the pool.

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