In Which My Calendar Wants Me To Do The Unthinkable


I continue to use up my 2018 hard-won Peanuts strip-a-day calendar at a rate of a bit under one strip per day (they don’t have Sunday pages). And it still has activities on the back. Last week it suggested this:

Unscramble the following letters to reveal this April word.
grimepints

I shall do no such thing. “Grimepints” is a magnificent word. It’s as perfect a collection of phonemes as I’ve encountered in a long while. It would make the world a worse place to “unscramble” those letters into some word that is lesser in every way to “grimepints”.

Furthermore, I choose to believe that Grimepints is, besides a perfect word, also the name of a City of London meeting-hall built in 1475. There the Guild of Pandy-Whelkers, established during the reign of King Edward II, still conducts all its business, including the biennial Benefit for the Sick Infants of Needy Croft-Coddlers. They pay a rent of 6/8 plus “four fynne & true kernels of nutt-megg, the niewest to bee hadd” per annum. And I am working up a history of the building and the Guild’s charming yet dotty history as my Patreon exclusive for the month. So nag someone you otherwise like into reviewing a subscription to something! But unscramble “grimepints”? I would sooner cancel springtime itself than commit such an offense to the language.

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there.

6 thoughts on “In Which My Calendar Wants Me To Do The Unthinkable”

    1. This sounds really inspired, and yet I can’t help wondering about the Molly Volley-inspired flavor that I hope has little cookie-dough tennis balls set inside a mix of the most 80s possible ice cream flavor (Heavenly Hash).

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  1. Not sure of the ingredient list, but B&J will probably call it ” Good Golly Miss Molly Volley” I think you made a good call with the cookie dough tennis balls, they’ll add little chocolate tennis rackets.

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