Statistics Saturday: Acceptable Answers To The Question ‘How’re You Doing?’


  • Good.
  • Fine.
  • Okay.
  • Fair to middling.
  • Tired.
  • Exhausted.
  • Middling to al dente.
  • Busy.
  • Only crying on the inside.
  • Only crying on the outside.
  • Enraged.
  • Super-enraged.
  • I’m an enormous quivering ball of rage and exhaustion.
  • Middling to angry.
  • About what?
  • Fine, thank you.
  • You too. [ Then a recognition of having said something slightly out of synch with the question, followed by hiding under the bed. ]
  • 7, maybe 7.5.
  • Well done.

Note: “I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you” has never been an acceptable answer. It has been officially deprecated since 1986 and come the end of this calendar year will be expunged from all decent conversation, we hope.

Source: For Spacious Skies: The Uncommon Journey of a Mercury Astronaut, Scott Carpenter and Kris Stoever.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

4 thoughts on “Statistics Saturday: Acceptable Answers To The Question ‘How’re You Doing?’”

  1. At the risk of appearing to ape Jean Shepherd, when I was a kid there was one wise guy who thought it was so cute and/or semi-intimidating to great people repeatedly with the phrase “What’s your beef?” I confused him like Kirk talking to an alien computer when I simply said “ground” and walked away.

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