- Set it in the microwave without turning the microwave on.
- Transfer the pizza repeatedly from one thermos bottle to another.
- Get people on social media talking about it a lot.
- Give the pizza a stern lecture about the importance of conserving its heat.
- Set the pizza in a hot bath.
- Ask your neighborhood’s ice elemental to never cold your pizza up. This may involve a Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck-like argument about “you will” “I won’t” “you will” “I won’t” “You won’t” “I will” “Have it your way, Doc.”
- Set the pizza on top of a coffee mug that, on inspection, turns out to hold iced tea.
- Hypnotize the pizza.
- Shine a laser on it, but it’s one of those keychain lasers you get as a gift when the department wants you to not actually feel better about working there.
- Engage the pizza in a heated debate.
- Embarrass your pizza by reminding it of that one time it had a Tweet go a little viral and it misspelled “public” and it was twenty responses in before someone pointed it out.
- Wrap the pizza in some cute sweaters.
Reference: Airborne Trailblazer: Two Decades with NASA Langley’s 737 Flying Laboratory, Lane E Wallace.
(I didn’t plan to pair this with Popeye’s Pizza Palace, but what the heck.)