Statistics Saturday: What Some Cooking Terms Mean


  • Brazened Apples. To take apples or any other fruit with edible skin and subject them to a display of outrageous behavior.
  • Deglaze. To take food off the window.
  • Reassembled Eggs. Scrambled or stirred eggs which have been placed back into a shell or similar hard container. It is not necessary to unstir them; if one does, the result is called “Delmonico Eggs”.
  • Oignon Brute. A half-peeled onion placed on a skillet in a manner characteristic of 1960s and 70s architecture, generally reliant on concrete, with the working structure implied by the shapes of the visible exterior or of elements within the living interior space.
  • Adumbrate. To set a relish or other briny material on the shelf in the pantry by mistake until you remember it maybe should be refrigerated, but you’re not sure if that’s really necessary or just cautious.
  • Roast Jeté. To set something in the oven while jumping.
  • Discoursing the Meat. To remove the edible part of an artichoke from a golf course or other public walkway.
  • Naked Spaghetti. The most dangerous pasta.
  • Icing. To make any kind of food wait for you.
  • Serendipity Sauce. Any process which moistens your cooking surface without your effort, including the automatic sprinklers going off.
  • Blornching. To over-stir the meat, meat substitute, or thick pudding, to the point you neglect everything else, and you end up not even liking the meat either.
  • Escanaba. (Localism.) To have or serve food in Michigan’s upper peninsula.
  • Scowling Cheese. Any hard or semi-soft cheese which has been made to disapprove.
  • Western-Fried (as in steak). To southern-fry something while lost.
  • Chunked Wheat. To sort into four or fewer categories a pile of flour or other wheat product.

Reference: Defining NASA: The Historical Debate Over The Agency’s Mission, W D Kay.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

6 thoughts on “Statistics Saturday: What Some Cooking Terms Mean”

  1. Your ‘reassembled eggs’ reminds me of a sketch on Lorne Micheals’ post SNL production “The New Show” where,I think, Steve Martin played the owner of a Food Fix-it Shop which fixed various “broken” foods including reassembling eggs including gluing together and sanding and buffing the shell.
    It’s just about the only memory I have of that show,so you can hardly be blamed if you too saw it in childhood and it’s been bouncing around in the unused Youtube part of your brain all these years.

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    1. Oh, huh! I don’t know that I ever saw any of The New Show; if I did pick it up from there, I’d forgotten. But it’s not a very deep joke; it’s along the lines of the novelty “Sandwiches Repaired While You Wait” sign you can see wherever it is people who buy novelty signs like that gather. Neat to know, though.

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      1. Trying to think of a good punny name for a sign shop something like “Signs Look Good” something akin to the nudist bakery “Get Your Buns In Here” mentioned by Gene Rayburn. If you want this as your next Saturday Stats essay be my guest.

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