I hope you’ve been enjoying my Mystery Science Theater 3000 fanfiction-sharing here. I plan to keep it going a while yet, which you knew from the subject line there. Also surely known to you: this is a continuation of Carrie L—‘s Reboot fan fiction, “Breaking the Barriers”. You can read the whole MiSTing, as it’s posted, here. You can read all of my MiSTings here, if I remember to tag them right.
The story so far: protagonist Carrie has disappeared into the world of pioneering computer-animated series Reboot. She’s met the main heroes of the show for real now. And she and series star Bob survived the perils of a Game thanks to Carrie’s expert play. But will they survive Bob’s girlfriend Dot asking why they were in a Game together?
The riff about Paul Frees references the 1953 Tom and Jerry cartoon The Missing Mouse. The “last time I had a good cry” bit references an episode of Taxi for no good reason. This segment has another instance of the joke where in-text a character asks why don’t they ask something, and then I riff the character asking that. I love that joke structure, but I feel like I probably swiped it from Get Smart. This week’s cryptic eight-bit Commodore machine-language bit: FFD8 was the routine to save computer memory to a device, such as cassette tape or disk drive.
> Part Twelve
JOEL: All this time and we’re barely started.
> Carrie stood there patiently as Enzo began to ask her question
> after question.
TOM: He should wait for an answer.
> "You’re new around here, aren’t you? Where’d you come
> from? How do you know Bob? Huh, huh?"
CROW: Why does it rain? Why is the sky blue? Is Santa Claus real? Can I have a nickel? I want a bicycle. Why does —
[ JOEL puts a hand on CROW’s shoulder. ]
> Carrie smiled at Enzo’s
TOM: [ As Carrie ] He’s cute. I’ll eat him last.
> and answered his first and last questions,
CROW: By Olaf Stapledon.
> avoiding the other.
JOEL: She didn’t know why the sky was blue.
> "This is my first time in Mainframe." she told
> him, "I’ve never been here before."
CROW: But I already saved the star of the show. I’m ahead of schedule.
> She smiled down at his curious
> face. "Actually, I ended up here by accident. That’s how I met Bob.
JOEL: Ask your mother. She’ll tell you.
> I’d heard of him before, but I just met him this cycle."
CROW: We’re very close to our motorcycles.
> Dot looked over at Carrie, frowning in suspition.
JOEL: [ As Dot ] I don’t think she’s eight-bit.
> "So she
> says she a user," she said to Bob, who shrugged and nodded. "How do
> we know if she’s telling the truth?" She asked him.
JOEL: Hold a survey on your web site?
> "I’m not sure,"
> Bob said, "she seemed to know alot about us,
CROW: She knows stuff we don’t know about ourselves.
> maybe she knows things
> only the user could know?"
TOM: How would Dot know what those things are?
> Dot mulled that over for a nano, then
> smiled slightly. "Why don’t we ask her and find out."
CROW: [ As Dot ] Carrie, how would you ask us who you are?
> she said slyly,
> and they both turned to look at Carrie.
TOM: You ask her. I’m bitter.
> When Carrie was at home, she always wore a necklace that her
> mother had given to her that bore her nickname, also given to her by
> her mother.
CROW: It’s a very personal thing that hasn’t been mentioned until now.
JOEL: I bet it’ll give us a touching insight into her character.
> The name ‘Mouse’.
> When she had been pulled into
> Mainframe, it had been reformatted
CROW: How much of its space was free now?
> into an almost choker style band
> with a gold charm bearing the same inscription.
JOEL: [ Reading ] Over hill, over dale, Carrie Mouse will never fail.
> Enzo’s eagle eyes had
> spotted it,
[ TOM screeches, like an eagle ]
> and he immeadiately began to ask her about it. "How come
> it says ‘Mouse’?
CROW: It’s so she doesn’t forget her favorite rodent.
> Do you know her? Are you her sister or cousin or
JOEL: Are you her twin from the future of the mirror universe?
> Are you really her in disguise?"
TOM: To look like human guys?
> Carrie reached up and touched the charm.
JOEL: [ Giggling, ticklish ]
> The thought of her
> mother suddenly made her very homesick,
TOM: The first week at college is the hardest.
> and her eyes began to burn
> with tears. She closed her eyes, holding back the tears that wanted
> to escape.
CROW: She shouldn’t do that, she’ll pop!
TOM: Remember what Paul Frees taught us. The white Mouse will not explode.
> She thought about home and her family, about how she may
> never see them again,
JOEL: She remembers her last words to Mom were, "Don’t worry, I won’t get pulled into the computer and into a TV show" …
> and finally the tears began to escape. Covering
> her face with her hands, Carrie fought for control.
CROW: Must… fulfill… prime directive…
> She didn’t want
> to worry Enzo. As she began to regain control,
TOM: Damage control … all systems non-responsive … whirrr whirrrrrrrr … beedooop.
> she felt a hand on her
> shoulder and looked up into Bob’s worried eyes. "Are you alright?" he
> asked. Carrie smiled through the last of her tears.
TOM: [ As Carrie ] You know when’s the last time I had a good cry?
JOEL: [ As Bob ] No… when?
TOM: [ As Carrie ] This morning.
> "Yeah," she
> whispered, "I was just thinking of home and my family.
CROW: And whether I left the VCR set.
> I really miss
> them, and I want to go home."
TOM: I’m tired and I want to go to bed.
> Dot came up beside her, "I’m sure we
> can try and get you home," she said,
JOEL: Can she be sent parcel post?
> "But we need to ask you some
> questions first." Carrie looked at her, puzzled. "Questions?" she
> asked, "About what?"
CROW: The quadratic formula.
> Dot looked at her, and then decided to just tell
> her. "I just need proof that you’re really a user, so I want to know
> everything you know about us.
JOEL: Because … Dot knows how to send users home?
> Let’s go to the Diner."
ALL: [ Singing ] Let’s all go to the diner … let’s all go to the diner … let’s all go to the diner … and have ourselves a snack!
> * * * * * * * *
> * * *
> Part Thirteen
CROW: Hey, that was only eleven dots. This can’t be part thirteen.
> The four of them sat together in the booth at Dot’s Diner.
TOM: [ Singing the ‘Seinfeld’ lick ] Beeow de dow dee dow
> Carrie’s little emotional episode had worried Bob, so he insisted on
> sitting beside her, much to Dot’s chagrin.
CROW: Bob’s got to sit either next to or across from her. Choose your poison.
> Carrie sat silently,
> staring at her folded hands
JOEL: Digital digits.
> on the table in front of her. Dot cleared
> her throat gently.
TOM: Uh, one of us has to order.
> "Carrie," she said, "We need you to tell us what
> you know about us."
JOEL: Use both sides of the paper if necessary.
> Carrie looked up, confused. "Why?" she
> whispered. Dot sighed quietly. "It’s the only way I know of finding
> proof that you’re a User."
CROW: Didn’t we just come from this scene?
> Carrie looked over at Bob, who flashed his
> killer smile,
JOEL: Aaah! Your smile — it’s … poi … son …
CROW: You did that already.
> and told her it was okay.
ALL: It’s OK.
> Carrie swallowed hard. This was exactly what she had wanted
> to avoid.
CROW: She’s got odd streaks of shyness.
> She didn’t want to reveal all her knowledge of Mainframe
> because she didn’t want to be looked upon as someone who encroached
> upon their privacy.
TOM: Oh, yeah, I can see how … huh?
> *Still,* she thought, *if it means getting home,
> I’ll tell them everything.*
JOEL: Begin with a comprehensive report about riboflavin.
> So taking a deep breath, Carrie began to
> tell them what she knew.
> Before she could really start, she was interrupted by a
CROW: Uh-oh. The plot’s getting in the way.
> Bob looked down at Glitch, then allowed the message through.
TOM: It’s from Star Fleet Command. It seems we have 139 star dates to kill the 26 invading Klingons before full-scale war breaks out. There are six star bases in our sector.
> The cube-shaped face of a one binome looked up from the circular
JOEL: For extra credit, see how many ways you can rearrange the words in that sentence and have it still make equal sense.
> He wore the distinct green helmet with visor of the
> CPU’s, alerting Carrie to the fact that this was important. "Excuse
> me, sir." the binome saluted,
JOEL: Hail Caesar.
> "Sorry to bother you,
TOM: But WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
ALL: [ Screaming ]
> but we’ve just
> recieved reports of a roaming tear left by the last game."
CROW: It’s making us look less manly.
> nodded. "I’ll be over in a nano."
TOM: Nano … Visitor?
> he said, getting to his feet.
> "Where’s it located?" he asked.
JOEL: It’s a direct portal from FFD8 to Ontario. It may be plot-related.
> The binome looked down at the
> organizer he held, then returned Bob’s gaze. "That’s the problem,
CROW: It doesn’t exist. Look, we were lonely, okay?
> he reported, "It’s located near Silicon Tor."
TOM: [ As Tor Johnson ] Time for go to net!
JOEL: That’s the new district. The ancient one is Germanium Tor.
> "Silicon Tor?!" Enzo said, "Dude! Can I come? Can I, can I?
CROW: Enzo’s this close to getting his mouth module deactivated.
> Dot shushed him. "No, Enzo." she said, "Bob can do this
TOM: No sense us risking *our* necks.
> Bob looked over at her as Glitch closed, ending the
> transmission. "No, not alone." Carrie interrupted,
JOEL: There is one other.
> and all three
> whirled to face her. "I know about tears." she said,
CROW: I’ve been holding them back for years … but I really love them!
> "And that little
> ball of energy could be my ticket home."
> She slid out of the booth,
> and stood in front of Bob. "I’m going with you."
TOM: [ As Bob ] I wasn’t going.
> she told him,
> determindly. "Besides, I’ve always wanted to see the Tor."
CROW: His one-man show is to die for.
> * * * * * * * *
> * * *
[ To continue … ]