So I have this friend who sometimes sends me Archie comics. That’s not his idiosyncrasy. I mentioned a while back that I liked the Archie where they do something weird, like the gang are all super-spy kids in the future or something. So now when he comes across, like, this comic from the 70s where an alien robot genie lands in Riverdale and turns Mister Weatherbee into a suspiciously Alf-like alien, he sends it my way. We should all have a friend like that. Mister Weatherbee sees no reason his being turned into a suspiciously Alf-like alien should stop him from hurrying on to the faculty meeting.
Anyway I ran across this advertisement, which I can totally understand why they had to run it in Archie comics rather than in a Superman book:

Okay, so, if I were a friend of Superman? I would not mail away for the one thing in the universe that he’s vulnerable to other than magic. (Magic I’m not worried about, since it doesn’t really exist.) I think the Fan Club Corporation of America of Medina, Ohio, may have misunderstood their market.
Well. One footnote. If we’re talking red kryptonite? The kind that does something wacky like turn Superman into a two-headed Supercow for a day? And he still has to attend the city council meeting as Clark Kent where Lois Lane can see him? All right, I’ll take $2.50 worth of that. Heck, I’ll buy $7.50 worth of that. But if that’s what they’re selling then they should make it clear.
Anyway, why do they need to know your age and whether you’re M or F to send you a $2.50 Kryptonite rock?
Now I have an earworm of that spoof of “Tis Wonderful” by Lex and the Luthers -” Tis Terrific” that turns Superman into Super Rudy Vally if he hears it.
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Oh, I love Super Rudy Vallee. For those who haven’t seen, the trick is he sings up to five songs and they’re all leading up to one big song you only start expecting three or four songs in. So much fun to play along.
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