I See Why Maybe Superman Didn’t Visit All These Kids in the 70s


So I have this friend who sometimes sends me Archie comics. That’s not his idiosyncrasy. I mentioned a while back that I liked the Archie where they do something weird, like the gang are all super-spy kids in the future or something. So now when he comes across, like, this comic from the 70s where an alien robot genie lands in Riverdale and turns Mister Weatherbee into a suspiciously Alf-like alien, he sends it my way. We should all have a friend like that. Mister Weatherbee sees no reason his being turned into a suspiciously Alf-like alien should stop him from hurrying on to the faculty meeting.

Anyway I ran across this advertisement, which I can totally understand why they had to run it in Archie comics rather than in a Superman book:

Comic book ad from about 1978 declaring 'It's Terrific - It's Fantastic - It's Kryptonastic' and calling on friends of Superman that they have a supply of Kryptonite and to keep it from falling into the wrong hands they can send it to yours. The cut-out on the bottom says 'Yes! I'm a friend of Superman! Please send me ___ Kryptonite Rocks''. Customers are asked to print their name, address, city, state, zip code, age, and M or F.
The Fan Club Corporation of America of Medina, Ohio, is making the bold assumption that Lex Luthor does not read Archie comics. … Maybe it’s not that bold an assumption.

Okay, so, if I were a friend of Superman? I would not mail away for the one thing in the universe that he’s vulnerable to other than magic. (Magic I’m not worried about, since it doesn’t really exist.) I think the Fan Club Corporation of America of Medina, Ohio, may have misunderstood their market.

Well. One footnote. If we’re talking red kryptonite? The kind that does something wacky like turn Superman into a two-headed Supercow for a day? And he still has to attend the city council meeting as Clark Kent where Lois Lane can see him? All right, I’ll take $2.50 worth of that. Heck, I’ll buy $7.50 worth of that. But if that’s what they’re selling then they should make it clear.

Anyway, why do they need to know your age and whether you’re M or F to send you a $2.50 Kryptonite rock?

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

3 thoughts on “I See Why Maybe Superman Didn’t Visit All These Kids in the 70s”

    1. Oh, I love Super Rudy Vallee. For those who haven’t seen, the trick is he sings up to five songs and they’re all leading up to one big song you only start expecting three or four songs in. So much fun to play along.

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