Statistics Saturday: Some Signs of Spring

  • Local news anchors chat a lot about how they like the weather forecaster now.
  • Hardware store replaces fortress of bags of rock salt with fortress of bags of mulch.
  • Fancy young men thinking of love.
  • They play the Emergency Spring Alert System timer right before starting The Price Is Right but then never the spiel about how this was only a test.
  • It’s 40 degrees Fahrenheit at noon. It’s 72 degrees at 3 pm. At 5 pm, it starts to flurry. By midnight, all subcompact and compact cars are lost under the new snow.
  • Fourth robin of the season tweeting about what a jerk the first robin is.
  • All your Argentinian blogger friends posting “Some Signs of Autumn”.
  • They take the Moon down to change the batteries out.
  • You switch from forgetting your plants shouldn’t be watered to forgetting to water your plants.
  • “Spring: Next 6 Exits”

Reference: Steel Pier, Atlantic City: Showplace of the Nation, Steve Liebowitz.


Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

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