Oh and Now the Neighbors Have a Woodchuck


They’ve got a woodchuck living in their yard! An actual woodchuck, all ready to come over and chuck some wood if they would. On top of all the other stuff they’ve got going on, they’re also going to be able to run their very own early-end-of-winter forecasts? That’s just too much, right? Why can’t we have a woodchuck living in our yard? We’ve got a great yard, it’s got a fence that really annoyed the other neighbors, and we’ve got this squirrel feeder that we found a real live worried mouse in the other day, and a goldfish pond, and a bunch of perennials that I can’t tell apart but that have names that sound like the butler in some low-effort 1930s cozy mystery movie series starring a reformed cat burglar, like, “Astilbe” and “Yarrow” and “Fescue” and stuff. And they get a woodchuck. I just can’t.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

8 thoughts on “Oh and Now the Neighbors Have a Woodchuck”

    1. Aw, well, that’s great, though. We don’t have any rabbits we’ve spotted peeking around our yard, except for the pet rabbit we sometimes bring outside to be unhappy with things in the sun.

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  1. Was the mouse in the squirrel feeder wearing an Uncle Sam costume? I suspect the gerbils have once again early reserved all the Santa suits from the mouse costume rental places, and more mice own their own Uncle Sam costumes,then they do Santa outfits for obvious reasons.

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