Statistics Saturday: Articles of Clothing, Ranked by How Good They Are for Containing Portals Usable for Escaping Unpleasant Conversations


  1. Hats
  2. Clutch Purses
  3. Shoes (giant, unworn)
  4. Trenchcoats
  5. Dress shirt with pocket
  6. Hoodies with pocket
  7. Skunk costume tails
  8. Socks
  9. Infinity scarves
  10. Cargo shorts
  11. Shoes (regular size, worn)
  12. Hair scrunchies

Reference: Creatures Of Accident: The Rise Of The Animal Kingdom, Wallace Arthur.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

2 thoughts on “Statistics Saturday: Articles of Clothing, Ranked by How Good They Are for Containing Portals Usable for Escaping Unpleasant Conversations”

Please Write Something Funnier Than I Thought To

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: