We’re finally to the start of “Skippy’s Mom”, the next Mystery Science Theater 3000 fanfiction I have for you. The whole of the series should appear at this link. So far, though, we’ve just had the introductory host sketch. They’re about to enter the theater.
These Are The Days was a short-lived Hanna-Barbera cartoon of the 70s. It was set in a small rural town around the turn of the century and was so well-meaning yet dull. Vitagraph was a silent movie studio — they did newsreels of the Spanish-American War — that Warner Brothers bought in 1925. Warner Brothers slapped the name on some 60s cartoons for mysterious reasons, probably to keep the trademark just in case. The Thanksgiving That Almost Wasn’t is an early 70s Hanna-Barbera move in which Jeremy Squirrel and the squirrel family have to save The First Thanksgiving. Cartoon Network ran it a bunch back in the 90s as part of their campaign to bore the audience away.
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TOM: In the year twenty-nine ninety-three… uh… four A six D six hundred and two B.
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> Due to circumstances outwith my control
CROW: For example, the images in Pringles commercials…
> and the fact that I’m a sick
> puppy (No really I have a killer headcold
JOEL: From outer space!
> …) here _is_ the CORRECT
> version of Skippy’s Mom. (I Hope)
> I would personally like to apolgise
CROW: Maybe ‘correct’ is an exaggeration?
> to anyone who has already read the
> orginal posting
TOM: It’s the latest in fanfic technology, the story that makes fun of itself.
> found that it did not finshed and has given the entire
> plot away.
> Anywho at last a mere 28+ hours over due here is Skippy’s Mom
JOEL: This is good. I’ve always wanted to see a "Family Ties" fanfic.
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TOM: It’s us-ascii versus them-ascii in an all-out battle for world domination!
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CROW: Shave and an inflation-adjusted haircut.
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> | Skippy’s | Charles "runt-abu" Brown would like to dedicate this
> | Mom | story
JOEL: Before the second reel is out, to landing a cartoon character on the moon and bringing him safely back to Max and Dave Fleischer.
> to the following individuals who lived in a
> |An A! Fanfic by| world full of darkness but are now in the light.
CROW: Thomas Edison, Christine McGlade, and Morris Udall.
> | runt-abu | Princess Diana, Mother Teresa and to all those who morn
TOM: Need an Abu but can’t afford to own one? Come on down and runt one, on daily or weekly schedules. Exit 13 on the Northway.
> \—————/ them; This is there space of memorial:–
CROW: Is it naptime?
JOEL: This is the worst Rorschach test I’ve ever seen.
TOM: It is a chance for us to get a spoon and tunnel our way out.
> Thank you for remebering
JOEL: We forget what.
> Legal type stuff:–
CROW: You know, 14 inch paper, note pads, writs, attainers. *Stuff.*
> This document is Copyright (C) 1997 Charles "Runt-Abu" Brown
> (runt@—.——.–.–). All rights reserved.
TOM: In fact, they’re downright timid. They’ve got to meet new people.
> The characters of the Warner Siblings and related characters are
> copyright and trademark Warner Bros. Animation, and are used without
JOEL: Also without socks.
> Their use within this work of fiction is in no
> way, meant to infringe or steal that copyright, nor to dilute the
> characters themselves.
TOM: That happened by accident when I spilled paint thinner.
> No profit on the part of the author is made
> from this document, and this document is used only for entertainment
> purposes. If there are any legal problems with this document,
CROW: Please review randomly selected episodes of "These Are The Days" until your head explodes.
> contact the author to make arrangements to amend these legal
JOEL: [ Raising his hand ] Uh, waiter? There’s a lawyer in my soup.
TOM: Keep your voice down, or everybody’ll want one.
> This work may be freely distributed in any media
CROW: So if you ever wanted to compose a Gregorian Chant based on an Animaniacs fanfic, here’s your chance.
> as long as it is not; altered for its original
> form, and that no money is charged for the document itself.
JOEL: I like reading these notices just to see credit given to the Vitagraph Corporation.
CROW: [ Announcer voice ] Vitagraph. You know the name, you have no idea what we do, and that’s the way we want it. Vitagraph.
> It may be
> included on any archive collection under the same terms.
TOM: It’s only to be included in free-range archives.
JOEL: This is going to be a hard "Hangman" puzzle.
CROW: That’s it. Did somebody go back in time and step on a butterfly while we weren’t looking?
> Skippy Squirrel stared out his wooden window into the dark night,
TOM: Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo…
> clouds over head covered the half moon and obscured the stars.
> His aunt slappy came in, "What’cha thinking about Skippy?" She asked
CROW: [ As Skippy ] Whether the Trix rabbit is actually being tortured by various kids or if he just stumbled across the alien technology from "Forbidden Planet" and is now denied cereal by the monsters of his own id.
> "Oh nothing.." Skippy replied instinctivly.
> "You were wondering about your mom again weren’t you." Slappy said
JOEL: The way you never do on the show.
> Skippy’s attitude suddenly changed, became darker, sadder.
CROW: Skippy Squirrel *is* Batman!
JOEL: Or… Bat… Squirrel… Man.
> "Yeah… I.. I just wish I had know who she was.." He whispered.
TOM: Mostly he hopes it wasn’t any of the squirrels from "The Thanksgiving That Almost Wasn’t."
> "Now Skippy what have I always told you?" Slappy demanded.
> "Never to mix up dynamite with candy." Skippy paused for a second;
> "Always use live ammunition
CROW: As a hand lotion?
> and …."
> "And actions do things; thoughts don’t…" Slappy finshed for him.
TOM: Unless your thoughts are being dubbed in for the audience.
> "Tommorrow morning we’ll go down to the hall of records and find your
JOEL: Embarassing 70s glam rock album.
> mom… If you go to bed now…"
> "Gee that’d be great Aunt Slappy!" Skippy said excitedly.
> "Come on kiddo, time for lights out…."
CROW: Our animators ran out of money.
> Slappy said tucking Skippy in.
[ To continue … ]