And now to the last weeks of “Skippy’s Mom”, a Mystery Science Theater 3000 fanfiction fresh to you from something like 1999. The whole of the series should be at this link. Don’t think I’m not worried about what to replace it with.
Not sure there’s any riffs I need to apologize for this week. That’s a nice change. The Brains used up all Captain’s Log jokes on Star Trek MiSTings, particularly Marrissa Picard stories. Whit Bissell was a character actor who had a small part in, like, every TV show ever. He was the beleaguered space station administrator in the tribbles episode of the original Star Trek, and in the 90s Nick at Nite had a running bit about identifying more Whit Bissell cameos. Slim Pig was a character in this show Cartoon Network would run at like 6 am Sunday mornings. He was a pig flat as a sheet of paper and could roll up or fold up or stuff like that. Jayne Barbera is the daughter of just who you think, and was a production executive on like seven billion cartoon shows, go ahead and guess for which studio. Credits include a couple of Scooby-Doo shows, Pirates of Dark Water, the 80s Jetsons series, and the immortal Heyyy, It’s The King!. Gabby the Town Crier was the only character anyone can remember from Fleischer Studio’s Gulliver’s Travels and got a series of short cartoons of his own that you can find on public domain tapes.
The story so far: a faulty INK test at the local hospital led Skippy Squirrel to think his mother was Rita the Cat. Nope; it was Romana, a squirrel unable to care for her son or much of anyone. So after some mild inconvenience everyone’s gone back to where they were to start. And even though there was an epilogue we have now a …
>
> Postlogue
TOM: I want to make a Captain’s Log joke, but we’ve used them all up, haven’t we?
JOEL: Yeah, they’re all gone.
CROW: Sorry, Tom.
> ———
> The battered reamins of the hospital where still smoldering gently well
> into the evening.
> A strange looking doctor
JOEL: Identity withheld to protect Charles "Runt-Abu" Brown’s sources.
> came along and picked up a test tube that had
> been remarkably unsmashed in the exsplosion.
CROW: However, it was covered with pasghetti.
> The doctor picked it up and
> read the label: "Sample 01| Skippy| Feline| Male." He looked at the tube
> and noticed that something was wrong with the label,
TOM: Heeeey! This is *diet* test tube!
> there was another
> label stuck on top of it. The doctor carfully peeled it back
CROW: Aw, there’s a wacky Dilbert comic strip on the back!
> but it
> ripped halfway so that only the last bit of it was readable…
JOEL: [ Reading ] "Far, far better rest I go to, than I have ever known"?
> " …line, Male."
TOM: Well? Line? Anyone?
CROW: They need improv classes.
> He held the INK sample
JOEL: I hope he doesn’t turn into the guy from "Cool World."
> up to the light and could just make out the rest of
> it.
> "Sample 03| Rita | Feline| Female."
TOM: Hey, I bet she’s got INK like a cat’s.
>
> The End…
ALL: Or *IS* it?
> ========================================================================
> ==========================
> |Plot|
TOM: OK, I’m going to secretly build a pneumatic tube system under Manhattan to demonstrate the viability of a subway system there.
> \====/
> This is what I started out with,
CROW: Fifteen Lego blocks, two packages of bubble wrap, seven basketballs, an olive, and three feet of packing tape.
> as you can see it sort of deviated
> from the plot..
JOEL: Yeah, the story never did wrap up the packing tape thread!
>
> (F.Y.I Sqips -> Skippy ala #watertower.)
TOM: The wet duck never flies after midnight.
>
> 1. Skippy and Slappy, Sqips asks about his Mom as he can’t remeber (if
> only all stories where this simple…) Slappy can’t remeber either…
> 2. Hall of records, Skippy must have been born
CROW: Unless he’s from the future and came back in time.
> so Sqips and Slappy make
> there way to the HOR to find out about Sqips past,
TOM: They discover it was pumpkin-flavored.
> only imediate
> family are allowed to view records so Sqips is the only one to see
> the record.
CROW: Because letting his legal guardian see it first would be goofy.
> 3. Pointless Cameo,
JOEL: Hey, Whit Bissell works hard. He deserves to be seen.
> yes there has to be at least one gratitus and
> pointless cameo in this case it’s Chicken Boo in the Hall of records.
> 4. Little orphen Skippy. Dark chapter this, Sqips has no record, on any
> database.
TOM: He *is* from the future!
> 5. Echos, Sqips now rather scared goes for a DNA test
JOEL: DNA, ’cause that’s like DN… hey!
> at the local
> hospital being the ever efficent service it will take at least 2
> weeks to come back.
CROW: They should tie it to a cat, so it comes back the next day.
> 6. DNA, so who is Sqips? Well he is called Skippy however his DNA does
> not appear to be that of a squirrel,
TOM: Well, yeah, you can see how you have to be a cat, with a name like Skippy.
> strangly it is more like a cat…
> (See A! opening sequence in the U.K. for details of this bizzare plot
> turn.)
> 7. Kindred spirits. Rita (Sans runt, he’s off recovering from saving the
> world)
JOEL: From… elves… or something.
> is brought in to teach Sqips about being a cat. This is where
> things get strange.
CROW: It turns out Rita is actually ‘Slim Pig.’
> 8. I am not a cat!
JOEL: I am a free number!
> Sqips screams at one point, however his DNA and now
> his apperance is not agreeing with this.
> 9. Skippy’s mom, Ahh, wondering when we would get to this,
TOM: Turns out to be Jayne Barbera in a *highly* embarassing incident.
> Whilst Sqips
> has been learing with Rita. Slappy has been off scouring the desert
> of Navada looking for Skippy’s REAL mom, she finds; wait fot it:
JOEL: Gabby, the Town Crier.
> A
> squirrel by the name of Susan who could be Skippy’s mom…..
CROW: Or could just be his dietician. Who knows?
[ To continue … ]
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Another Blog, Meanwhile 
TOM: Well? Line? Anyone?
JOEL: Ryan Stiles?
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Oh, a good thought. If I’d watched Whose Line more regularly it might have come to mind.
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