Statistics Saturday: Things I’ve Tried To Warm My Feet Up

  • Putting on a second pair of socks.
  • Starting a fire in the fireplace, where such things are normal and expected, so that the whole room gets to be not as warm as you’d think it should be.
  • Dousing my feet in hot chocolate.
  • Putting on a third pair of socks.
  • Turning the car thermostat up to ‘Melts the floor mat’.
  • Setting them underneath a pet rabbit who then leaves.
  • Putting on a fourth pair of socks, in-between the second and third, which does mess up the counting admittedly.
  • Thinking a lot about when I lived in Singapore and it was 92F every afternoon and never colder than like 78F at night.
  • Taking my feet off and setting them in the oven at 300F for a half-hour.
  • Putting on so many socks my feet are spheres of fabric and I can’t fit any of my shoes anymore.

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

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