- Putting on a second pair of socks.
- Starting a fire in the fireplace, where such things are normal and expected, so that the whole room gets to be not as warm as you’d think it should be.
- Dousing my feet in hot chocolate.
- Putting on a third pair of socks.
- Turning the car thermostat up to ‘Melts the floor mat’.
- Setting them underneath a pet rabbit who then leaves.
- Putting on a fourth pair of socks, in-between the second and third, which does mess up the counting admittedly.
- Thinking a lot about when I lived in Singapore and it was 92F every afternoon and never colder than like 78F at night.
- Taking my feet off and setting them in the oven at 300F for a half-hour.
- Putting on so many socks my feet are spheres of fabric and I can’t fit any of my shoes anymore.
4 thoughts on “Statistics Saturday: Things I’ve Tried To Warm My Feet Up”
Did you put your feet in the toaster?
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Oh no, no, I’d never feel like I had my feet clean enough to put in the toaster. Even right out of the shower I know how much they fall short of food-prep standards.
Have you consulted Peltier Rebleat?
Oh yes, Peltier Rebleat was my favorite house-name author of detective stories in the pulp magazines. Such a way with words.