Statistics Saturday: The Humor of Benjamin Franklin


Witty observation of human folly; small slice. Ok, a recap for the people in back; small slice. This is some more words then; bigger slice. Oh, it's a whole homily. Well, then; bigger slice. Gosh who knew you had another heap of words; enormous slice.
Here I go again, boldly taking on people who even as you read this you remember much better than you ever will me.

Reference: Living Dolls: A Magical History of the Quest for Mechanical Life, Gaby Wood.

Numbers for October 2013


Having numbers worked out all right in September, so maybe I can give that another try.
For the month of October I got 370 views — down from 397 in September, and my third-highest overall for a month. This is from 179 unique viewers, itself up from 162 in September, and (by a nose) almost my third-highest overall. Go figure. 179, interestingly, is known as Grothnik’s Prime Number by people who have never heard of Prime Numbers or of Grothnik.

The most popular articles over the past 30 days:

  • The Monster In The Living Room, because it does combine everything important, like the pet rabbit, and physical injury, and I had good cause to mention it on Usenet, which is a thing that exists still.
  • Flying Turnabouts, regarding the strange case of Knoebels’s new Flying Turns roller coaster that we’re getting to next year unless the world ends. And if it does end, we’re going to see it out on a road trip there.
  • Disappointment, regarding my successful non-victory in the Robert Benchley Society contest.
  • The Platonic Stooge, my wonder at a thing Plato and the Three Stooges have in common.
  • Also, Just Hush, Benjamin Franklin , about my wood-cutting experience and an epigram from Benjamin Franklin that apparently isn’t as common or popular as I thought it was. I tend to do that. My default assumption is if I’ve heard of it, then everyone else has, and so my timely allusion to the Battle of Manzikert goes terribly unappreciated.
  • Police Blotter: Traffic Incident, about something that was obviously designed to make the news.
  • The top five countries were the United States (304 viewers), United Kingdom (12), Canada (10), Australia (8), and Austria (5). Sending me a mere one reader each were France, India, Mexico, and Spain. France was the only one to send me a single reader last month, and they only sent the one the month before that, too.

    The Benjamin Franklin thing is he’s quoted as saying “Cut your own wood and it will warm you twice”, which, yeah, just hush there.

    Warmed Over


    See, what my subject line the other day when I talked about cutting wood meant was that Benjamin Franklin had this bit where he said, “Cut your own wood and it will warm you twice,” which for Franklin is actually being fairly pithy. He did come from an era where everybody sounded like they were a contentious sub-lease agreement. Anyway, I just didn’t expect after spending a couple hours chopping blocks of wood apart that now I’d have to spend the afternoon putting the blasted things back together so don’t even start with me, Franklin.

    Also, Just Hush, Benjamin Franklin


    Yup, so, I was out cutting wood today. It was wood I was fully authorized to cut. And really, what better way is there of cutting wood than hauling a big metal thing and swinging it down on an unsuspecting spider (sorry about that, spider), until you lose all sensation in your arms?

    Obviously, the better approach is to simply grow smaller trees, ones that never get to more than about a foot, maybe a foot and a half, tall, so you can skip the cutting altogether. Better than that, though? Hire an itinerant woolly mammoth to grab the blocks in his trunk and toss them from a great height into Pointy Rock Canyon. Then even if the rocks don’t split the wood up right, you’ll still have lost them in a canyon, thus solving the problem.