While I Continue To Stagger Back To My Feet


Won’t fib; the computer problems threw my week for an even bigger mess than I expected. I’m just now getting to the point I think I have my photograph library in order. And that’s none too soon because there’ve been big developments with that auto care place down the street having some massive relationship drama through its sign board. Just wait and see! In the meanwhile here’s this past week’s bunch of mathematics-themed comic strips. I hope to have stuff kind of normal-ish soon, once I’ve got settings and options and updates and missing programs set up. In the meantime:

Scene from Star Trek: Enterprise in which Captain Archer and Idiot Timecop Daniels stand surrounded by all sorts of swirly special effects from Daniels's Prime Radiant time-viewer thingy.
“What the — I — why are you playing The Electric Prunes? What exactly in my selecting the next episode of the Movie Sign With The Mads podcast made you think I wanted to listen to my music in alphabetical order by song title? What are you doing and WHY WILL YOU NOT STOP? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? WHO DESIGNED YOU???”

Man but the iTunes interface sucks.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

Despite concerns about the unusually high values of the Another Blog, Meanwhile index traders rallied, bringing the number to a new all-time high after someone noticed in their how-to-draw-animals book a page labelled “Unusual Horse Positions” and now everybody’s got the giggles. People, it’s about like when they stand on their hindlegs or reach for something with a front leg, or when they’re bucking or rearing up and it’s not … oh, now you’re doing it too. So immature.

181

Caption This: Running Like A Chicken Edition


As I promised my other blog, the serious one, talked more about comic strips with mathematical themes yesterday. At least it did if the automated posting worked right. I set that one and this to appear without my specific intervention because I think I’m going to be busy? I might be busy anyway.

I’d post an update with a later report of just how busy I was and when except I can’t figure that’s in fact interesting either. My point is, if I did have something posted there yesterday, it might be something interesting to you today.

And if it’s not then I’ll just go back to grabbing frames from Star Trek: The Next Generation, such as for instance this:

Data's disembodied head plugged in to one of the pull-down tray tables in Lower Engineering. From the episode 'Disaster'.
Shortly after this episode Data began reviewing music, if I may make a needlessly complicated Mystery Science Theater 3000 reference. Say what you will, but Next Generation had some great severed-talking-head effects.

“Counselor? Do you know when you might be able to resume my exploration of the idiom `would lose my head if it were not attached’ anytime soon? And in … I am not certain which corridor?”

Have something better? I’m not surprised. Give it a try.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

Traders lifted the Another Blog, Meanwhile by two points today after stretching carefully and bending at the knees before they realized the index was a lot hotter than they realized and nobody had brought any oven mitts.

129

Caption This: Supplemental: Hurrk.


As has gotten to be normal for Mondays I mostly want to point you over to my mathematics blog where I thrill folks by showing off a 1956 installment of Jimmy Hatlo’s comic strip Baby Schnooks’ll Do It Every Time. I don’t know, but it brings in the readers, so who am I to object? There should be another one of those installments come Thursday, so I’ve already got my Next Generation picture all ready to go for it. Also I’m not going out of my way to pick on Next Generation, it’s just that I feel like there’s only one thing to say about the Original Star Trek episode where they left a newspaper on the floor in the background and that’s to point out they left a newspaper on the floor in the background. As ever, if you want to put in your own caption, please do. I like what folks make of this.

Riker sitting on the captain's task chair in the Ready Room.
I get why the Captain would have a laptop on his desk, sure, and having a couple of circuit boards standing free? That’s just good resource organization. Why does he keep a chunk of crystal there, though? That’s way too blocky to be a piece of sea glass, so I’m forced to conclude the set designers don’t know either, they just set that down earlier in the episode and can’t take it out now without someone calling it a continuity error.

“Personal log. I now know how long is too long to spin in my chair.”

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index stayed at 127 today as some of the traders got into a talk about the standards and specifications of decade-old video game systems and everybody else hid under the desk until it all blew over. Not that it isn’t interesting to hear something about this stuff but then when they get into calling enhanced rame rate schemes “hilarious” you know you’re in trouble and should be doing something else.

127

Caption This: Or As Picard Knows This Stuff, Tuesday


I talked some more about mathematically-themed comic strips on the other blog and there you go. I’m not figuring on doing another of these reviews this week so that’s your big chance to read what I have to say about Bud Blake’s Tiger. Well, I think that’s worth doing. Meanwhile as I sit and think up other things to write here’s my usual sort of Next Generation captioning stuff and you’re invited to participate.

Two Picards walking into the shuttle bay, the way pairs of Picards will.
Really, how many times did they come up against duplicates or clones or lost twins or whatnot of the original crew? Is there anyone besides Counsellor Troi who didn’t meet themselves at least once? Also: didn’t Counsellor Troi have advanced training in psychology or whatever her mental-health specialty is? Shouldn’t we be calling her Doctor Troi?

Picard: What the — oh, jeez. No. Not another one of these. No. Shan’t do it. You all deal with your own spacetime anomaly clone alternate-timeline nonsense without me.

Picard: And that goes double for me!

Picard: No, now you’re just encouraging them!

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index dropped today amidst rumors first that actor Bill Pullman had died and then accusations that the person who’d mixed him up with actor Bill Paxton, who had just died, was doing that bit about not being able to tell the two apart. She insists no, she honestly and sincerely just mixed them up and is sorry for the confusion and for

94

Rather Than Asking Funky Winkerbean What The HECK Is Wrong With You


I mean, I want to. Tom Batiuk’s Funky Winkerbean is somehow in the second week of a story in which Funky Winkerbean tries to renew an expired driver’s license. And if that seems like not much of a storyline consider that Batiuk has decided to see just how big a jerk Funky can possibly be during it. Or possibly how big an idiot. Anyway it’s left me seething with rage and so I’m going to turn to more productive stuff like the mathematically-themed comics on my other blog and, oh, I don’t know. Here’s a screen grab from the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “Heart of Glory”, known as “that one from the first season where we started thinking maybe the show could be good after all”.

Worf and two guest Klingons of the week standing in sickbay over the body of a dead guest Klingon of the week. All but the dead one are howling at the boom mike.
Boy, I feel bad for the extra caught in this shot leaning against the water cooler. Awkward!

o/` Be-el-ze-bub has a devil put aside!
For me …
For Meeee …
FOR MEEEEEEEEEE! o/`

If you want to put in your own different caption here, please, go ahead.

Thanks, all. Boy am I angry at Funky Winkerbean.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index rose one point in trading described as “partly cloudy” and with “smatterings of applause”. We have no explanation for what this should mean.

106

Caption This: Finally We Understand What’s In Cargo Bay 6


So, I had some fresh mathematics comics to write about and wrote about them over on the other blog. No pictures, but then, no calculus either. I’m hoping for better things next week, but who isn’t?

So, on to something I noticed while looking at pictures of the Star Trek: Enterprise episode “Vox Sola”, and don’t go asking why I’m looking at screen grabs from Star Trek: Enterprise episodes.

Look, I just need to do things like that, because if I didn’t, how would I find pictures like this? Exactly. I’d have to wait for someone else to find the pictures for me and that’s just inefficient. Let me have this. And by letting me have this, I mean letting you have this from me. So here it is:

Archer lying in a pool of gooey white mucus-y stuff because that's what Star Trek: Enerprise was doing its first season.
This. This is exactly what Dr Noonian Soong was hoping that Data could achieve when he developed the sneezing routine.

“And that, Captain, is why we have a regulation against leaving ship without the giant box of Kleenex.”

Have a better thought for this? I’m not surprised, and please, take some space here to fill it in:

Thank you! Yes, I see the risque jokes too.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index rose seven points today but nobody was able to feel good about it. You know why? They started thinking about the other timeline, you know, the good one. You know what’s going on there? Over there leading Republicans are already calling her “King Hitlery” and demanding Clinton and Obama be impeached. And you know why? It’s because of this refugee Libyan orphan who sang at Clinton’s inauguration ball and did this rendition of “America The Beautiful” so haunting that the whole world was reduced to this blubbering mass of joy. Like, for a week-plus the whole Internet was happier than it’s been since Pokemon Go came out and everybody felt so good about that. It broke V-E day’s record for strangers hugging each other in public. And now there’s a bunch of unfounded — and, a 20-month investigation will concede, after the midterm elections, utterly false — allegations that the singer got preferential admission just so that she could sing at the inaugural ball. And it’s the start of taking this wonderful transcendant moment and dragging it into mud. And they’re dealing with that over in the good timeline and can’t believe how they can’t have nice things, and look where we are now, and when you look at that what does trading volume on the Another Blog, Meanwhile index even matter?

131

Choose Wisely


Lending Locker for the long-stay hotel. 'Borrow a blender or a board game. The Lending Locker is stocked with kitchen items, games and small appliances. Borrow what you'd like by checking in with a team member at the Front Desk.'
“Can I borrow the juice squeezer?” “NO! ONLY the blender OR the board game!” “Can I borrow both?” And the clerk runs back to the manager. “Boss, they’ve broken the system!”

How you decide will affect the precise level of drama associated with your game of Yahtzee.

Also going on: my mathematics blog and its comic strips review. I also briefly debunk a lovely present my aunt and uncle gave me several years ago.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

In getting back to trading after the Christmas break the Another Blog, Meanwhile dropped four points. This beat analyst expectations as they’d figured there was no reason they wouldn’t drop eight or even twelve points considering how poorly everyone does right after a big holiday. Really they’re amazed anyone could get themselves out on the trading floor, considering.

93

Picture This: And Some Mathematics Comics


Well, this is embarrassing. Normally I coax people into reading my mathematics comics on Monday by giving them a Caption This! picture and a caption and some space to riff on their own. But I don’t have anything right now. I’ve been out of the TrekBBS loop so haven’t got anything from their selection of Star Trek characters with mouths awkwardly open. And I haven’t had time to look through my pictures to find something good. So what can I do?

Well, here. Let me give you some space and a caption and if you find a picture that the caption is funny for we can work out a deal. That’s fair, isn’t it? Here goes.

[ Picture goes here, maybe yours. ]

“Mark? Mark, you know you are completely visible, right? Yeah, we can totally see you there. Everything you’re doing, too. Yeah. Completely, utterly visible. No, really. I promise.”

I feel like something’s missing yet. Maybe I’ll have a picture for next time. We’ll see.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The Another Blog, Meanwhile index dropped eight points in cold-affected trading following the discovery that all the hot chocolate from last year had coagulated into a fist-sized lump of brownish, slightly dusty concrete. Analysts don’t know how this happened or who to blame for it but they will take nominations and mini-marshmallows in care of this station.

93

Caption This: Another Question Raised By Star Trek: Voyager


Barclay sitting with his arms folded and it just happens his eyes closed while Troi watches and his cat licks a bowl of what looks like peach ice cream to me.
Deep into the sixth season, Star Trek: Voyager seeks to tap the share of the TV-watching public that just can’t get enough of the powerhouse combo of Marina Sirtis and The Guy Who Played The Guy Who Used Holodecks For Actual Fun And Power Fantasies The Way Humans Would. Guests of Star Trek: Voyager stay in the lovely Pavel Chekov Microtel convenient to the heart of the old Desilu filming lot and with great views of the Golden Gate Bridge from every single window, including the fridge door one into the freezer and the windows Barclay’s sometimes-opened eyes would show into his soul.

It’s the 24th century. Why are people having meetings in the lobby of a Cracker Barrel?

If you know or have a better thought what to do with this picture, please, use the space here. I’m mostly including a picture like this to pad out pointing over to my mathematics blog, which had some more comic strips to talk about the other day, which was yesterday. Suggested topic: why is Barclay’s cat eating a heaping dish of Brain Ice Cream? Is that really healthy for a creature made of live Photoshop “dry brush” pen strokes?

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index rose a nice four points, or more than 2.8 percent, on trading that most described as “kippy” or even “disembogue” because those were the vocabulary words on the word-a-day calendar the last couple days. “Kippy” can kind of be made to fit but “disembogue” is something about rivers so they’re just showing off at this point. Also they like expressing stuff in percent because it has all those decimals and those look nice and scientific.

145

The Usual Sort Of Monday-ish Stuff


Background, Quark the bartender looking all huffy. Foreground, Harry Kim and Tom Paris all sure that they're going to be on the good series.
As one of the leading bars on the far edge of explored space it’s important that Quark stock his shelves with those sanitizing liquids barbershops keep their combs and scissors in.

Tom Paris, the one holding his fingers together: “And if we combine the supporting casts of Star Trek: Voyager and Deep Space Nine we’ll form this mighty pop cultural armada so powerful that within five years people will ask `William Shatner who?’ … are you ready to join us?”

Quark, the bartender rocking the Rhoda outfit: “Yeah, you’re cut off.”

And here’s some space for your own captions, if you’ve got a better one.

And finally my mathematics blog talked about comic strips yesterday. All goes well it’ll talk about them tomorrow too.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index drifted down four points owing to traders being distracted by all the decorative gourds they have at the stores these days. Last year we found one that looked just like a perfect goose, with the stem even making a perfect beak. We’ve had some good results this year including one that makes a respectable crane (the bird kind) but man, nothing is ever going to top that goose gourd. Ah, well, such things can’t last forever; if they could, would we appreciate them while they lasted? Yes, of course we would.

145

Caption This: The Consultant’s Review


Picard and Dr Crusher awkwardly offering handshakes to the seated Vash.
Yes yes I know the woman is Vash and she’s Captain Picard’s slightly out-of-character lightly-romantic entanglement from that Indiana Jones ripoff episode that we all thought was pretty swell at the time but haven’t looked back on, and this still is from that Robin Hood ripoff episode that I certainly thought was one of the worst things they had done not featuring The Outrageous Okona but haven’t looked back on, even if I admit Worf had two good lines only one of which was ripped off from Animal House which I haven’t seen either and don’t judge me.

Woman: “All right, I’ve seen enough. Well. While this may look bad, I don’t think you have reason to worry. I have helped people with even more severe difficulties in high-fiving. And, as they say, the mere fact that you realize you need help indicates that you’re not too far gone.”


And I enjoy when people have their own ideas, so here’s some space for that:


As usual for Sundays I reviewed comic strips over on my other blog. Includes two comics to look at directly instead of just clicking links to read later on! Which for some reason I don’t do for every comic strip I talk about. I don’t know either.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index rose slightly when analysts remembered this Dave Barry crack about employment figures being eaten by a goat. In context it makes sense and you can see why analysts would be thinking about goats eating things.

116

Caption This: The Man, Trapped


Spock writing on his Space Clipboard while Uhura looks on.
The High-Definition remastering from original film elements this episode got a couple years ago really makes the pile of yard sale Space Garbage in the background look alive.

Uhura: “Should you really be writing your fanfic on the bridge, Commander?”

Spock: “Should you really be peeking over my shoulder if you don’t want the jerkface aliens named for you, Lieutenant?”


Here’s some space for your own caption, if you prefer:


And, hey, more comic strips over on my mathematics blog. I mention the mysteries of three but fail to share Robert Benchley’s piece about the number. Too bad.

Now I Know Why I Failed Bio (Toys At Michael’s Edition)


Now I Know Why I Failed Bio (Toys At Michael's Edition)
I wasn’t suspicious until I noticed the bin labelled ‘SQUIRREL’ was empty except for a baby deer and then I knew: someone got them!

I totally would have said these were toy lobsters. Live and learn. Ah well. Happy moon-blowing-out-of-Earth’s-orbit day, everyone!

Also stuff was normal again on my mathematics blog, so you can look over there. I’d like it if you did.

Caption This: Fixing The Screen


I did some more comic strip stuff over on my mathematics blog. Please, enjoy that, won’t you?

Meanwhile rather than work too hard, let me give you this to caption:

The starship Enterprise viewscreen, with a huge field of static on it. And Sulu looking back, the way he always did in the original show.
I always felt sad for the poor cadet on the right who doesn’t get a chair but does get the boss staring at his back all day, every day, no matter what. And doesn’t even get to see the main screen.

 

 

 

The correct caption?

Kirk: “I don’t know. Have you tried jiggling the cable?”

If not correct please discuss below.

Caption This: Why Even Spend The Whole Episode In Smooth-Floored Caves


Picard, Data, Spock, and some Romulans standing around the cave.
Decades of work figuring out Romulan Tasha Yar’s plot from the episode have finally revealed that the only way it makes a lick of sense if you suppose everybody involved was lying to each other about what the scheme actually was, even when they were doing the big reveal of what the evil scheme of evilness was all about.

“My parents! They’re home already! Guys, we gotta clean this cave up right now!”

[ Do you have a better caption? Maybe. I like this one, but what the heck. Use the space below as you like. Winners to be informed. ]


So over on my mathematics blog, I wrote all about a bunch of comic strips for the 5th of April. I posted it there on the 9th of April, and I’m posting this pointer to it on what WordPress’s servers says is the 13th of April but which my own personal time zone which I let many people share say is the 12th of April. I do this in the hopes of clearing up any confusion.

Caption This: Agent 13 In The Delta Quadrant


Somebody other other poking his head out the wall, to Tuvok.
Agent 13: “Hi, Max. It’s been centuries!”
Tuvok: “Hello. Have you observed any instances of Kazon agents in the area?”
Agent 13: “Hey, did the Chief ever answer my vacation request?”

“I came into Star Fleet for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there’s trouble, a man alone. Now they got the whole starship sectioned off, you can’t make a move without a form.”


The wrong riff? Could be. Please, enjoy this space for one of your own, or someone else’s:

Meanwhile, over on my mathematics blog, there were a couple comic strips for Pi Day. Also some general mathematics stuff. You’ll enjoy them, I hope.

Caption This: Peeking In On … Are They Up To The 25th Century Yet?


Dr Crusher with her face shoved up against kind of giant microscope type device.
Isn’t sickbay a strange place to keep the ship’s periscope?

[ Picard, off-screen: ] Captain’s log, supplemental. We have entered our third day without success getting the superglue off Dr Crusher’s medical scanner.


(Wrong caption? Go ahead, use this space to offer a better one.)

 


Meanwhile over on my mathematics blog, I’ve had another chance to talk about comic strips. Mostly Popeye. Also I’ve got through the first week of the Leap Day 2016 Mathematics A To Z project, a glossary of mathematics terms written in a way I hope makes sense to non-mathematicians. Please, consider enjoying.

Caption This: The Turbulent Decade


Do you like comic strips? Most of us do. If you’d like comic strips plus a picture of our pet rabbit, please check my mathematics blog, since there’s both of those going on there. Meanwhile, going on here:


Spock observes a grafito: 'Love Mankind'.
From “The Naked Time”, the episode that made Star Trek show producers think we could never get enough of zany space diseases. The note on the wall is actually the signature after a quite long message to the Enterprise crew. Here’s hoping it wasn’t a ‘Dear John’ letter.

Spock: “Oh yeah. It is the Space Sixties, isn’t it?”


As ever, if you’ve got a more right idea about what the caption should be, please share it here. It’s quite possible someone will win a prize, somehow! I’m not stopping them from winning, anyway.

Caption This: Camping In The Delta Quadrant


Janeway and a large expressionless plastic figure (Chakotay) standing around some camping-or-something equipment in the middle of the park next to Paramount Studios sometime in the late 90s.
This is from some episode of Star Trek: Voyager but I don’t know which and I’m too embarrassed to admit that fact or to ask for help. Any ideas, friend?

Janeway: “Can opener?”


Did I get it wrong? Maybe. Let me know if you have the right caption in mind. Also, if you’re interested in mathematically-themed comic strips, I talked about a couple of them the other day and you might like that.

Caption This: Meanwhile, In 23rd Century Tensions


Over on my mathematics blog there’s more comic strips reviewed, so why not enjoy those? It’s all fun stuff.

Spock signing some form or other as Kirk makes his way carefully onto the bridge.
It’s from the episode “Journey to Babel”, where we got to find out Spock had parents and where Kirk tries to fend off an attacker by hopping around a bunch. Kirk gets stabbed and almost dies.

Nimoy: And if Shatner stays off the bridge five more minutes I’ll have him entirely written out of this episode.

(Too soon? Well, I’ll take other captions if you have them.)