Why I Am Not Learning About The History Of Socks


I was all set to read this history of socks, for good reason. Socks are things (you can’t tell me otherwise) and they probably have a history, so that’s plenty of reason for me to read a book of up to 203,800 words about their origins. But then the very first sentence of the thing was this:

Socks and stockings originated as simple pieces of felt stuffed into shoes to provide warmth.

This implies that socks are no longer simple things. Therefore I shall go hiding under the bed until I feel up to handling complicated socks. I’m still not recovered from the socks that have that little colored patch in the heel so you can tell when you’ve put it on upside-down and there’s somehow an upside-down way to put on a sock.