Statistics Saturday: Things I Couldn’t Get To Work In Boggle


As your Saturday or Sunday or whatever reference guide, here are some things I’ve found not to work in a game of Boggle, that puzzle game to find the words in a randomly generated matrix of letters:

  • Rolls. (Letter ‘R’ wasn’t actually there.)
  • Queue. (Dispute about whether a ‘Q’ on the board automatically included a ‘u’ with it.)
  • Cat. (Didn’t see it.)
  • Flinch. (Shied away from it. Admitted irony of the situation.)
  • Aququrqu. (Was just needless sarcasm after that Queue dispute above.)
  • Obelus. (Nobody believes me that’s even a thing.)
  • “What do you mean that’s not in the Scrabble dictionary?” (They meant what the words obviously imply.)
  • Dogma. (Letter ‘G’ was actually a ‘Q’.)
  • “Let’s play cribbage instead.” (Fantastically bad move.)
  • Hemed. (I couldn’t believe that was a word.)
  • Sighing and walking away, shaking my head sadly that things should have come to this. (Insufficiently cool. I should have pretended I saw a squirrel doing a cute thing and never come back.)

Everything I Understand About Cribbage


Everything I Understand About Cribbage After Having A Friend Explaining It Relentlessly And Playing A Couple Games Over This Interactive Text-Based Link:

  1. It’s a card game.
  2. Also there’s pegs.
  3. There’s a running total that doesn’t get above 31, only if it gets to 31 or 30 or 15 it goes back to 0.
  4. You put down cards.
  5. Your opponent puts down cards.
  6. Sometimes you’re finished with the cards and you move pegs.
  7. I don’t understand anything about cribbage.
  8. If you play it right the game eventually ends. (If it doesn’t, go back and start again because you missed something.)
  9. You want cards to make like pairs or flushes or something and I think maybe it counts if you make a straight with some of your opponents’ cards or maybe I don’t understand that?
  10. I’m pretty shaky on backgammon too.
  11. Every hand starts with you giving away two of your cards to the crib, and I guess you’re supposed to someday ever see them again, or maybe not, and maybe they’re just a reminder of the inevitability of loss in this universe and a way to practice being at peace with the eventual decay of all things and the end of all life.
  12. I will never have any idea what bridge is about.