Statistics Saturday: Articles of Clothing, Ranked by How Good They Are for Containing Portals Usable for Escaping Unpleasant Conversations

1. Hats
2. Clutch Purses
3. Shoes (giant, unworn)
4. Trenchcoats
5. Dress shirt with pocket
6. Hoodies with pocket
7. Skunk costume tails
8. Socks
9. Infinity scarves
10. Cargo shorts
11. Shoes (regular size, worn)
12. Hair scrunchies

Reference: Creatures Of Accident: The Rise Of The Animal Kingdom, Wallace Arthur.