The Gift-Receipt Giving Season Has Started

I’m happy to report the Meijer’s cash register computers are now giving out gift receipts for anything. So they figure, eh, I might not be giving a carton of rock salt, two jars of discount peanut butter, or a pack of Morningstar Farms vegetarian sausages to someone as a gift, they want to be ready in case I do, and in case that person would rather have something else instead. I’m going ahead and guessing they imagine someone’s feeling more like getting a transparent vinyl shower curtain or a box of club crackers instead. Except what good are the club crackers without peanut butter to put on them? I suppose there’s cheese, cream or otherwise. Hm. Must think about this sometime.

More Gifting Events

My mathematics blog had some more comic strips to talk about, and there’s even a Jumble puzzle to solve. You might like that. I did.

I got a gift receipt spat out with my purchase at Meijer’s. I was surprised. It’s not the time of year when many people give gifts to people they kind-of-but-don’t-really know, like nephews and co-workers and siblings and parents and friends. So why would a gift receipt be assumed to be needed?

More, exactly what in the purchase raised the suggestion that I might need a gift receipt? What I got was: a couple tubes of toothpaste, a condolence card, a bag of frozen tortellini, and four boxes of what I would be better off saying was soda, except that one of them is Vernor’s and if that’s not pop then nothing is pop. It’s a ginger ale and it’s extremely ginger-y and there’s no disputing that, and you won’t find that where people say ‘soda’ except in specialty shops. Why would they figure anyone needed to return anything from this for credit?

Well, obviously, because I accidentally bought a packet of tortellini with meat, instead of the cheese tortellini I would swear it was when I took it out of the freezer bin. So I have to exchange that and — hey, I’ve got the gift receipt! Also the real receipt too, of course. But the point is, how could they know I really wanted the cheese tortellini instead?

Smaller Good Gifts

I realize it’s the time of year anything at all might be a gift. The self-service checkout stations at Meijer’s have started spitting out gift receipts for most anything. It turns out one of those things is if you buy a plastic cup to use the Coke Freestyle machine. I would snark about a 22 ounce fountain drink as a present, but I’ve realized that it’s not bad. There’s no breaking it and if you throw it out, it just caffeinates the lawn. This time of year the lawn needs it.

I just don’t know how you’d keep it gift-wrapped and fresh through to Christmas. Maybe they’re angling the soda as an office-party gift instead. Office Christmas Parties might be any convenient day between early Thanksgiving week and the following year’s New Jersey Big Sea Day. I won’t be sending one out anywhere.

The Freestyle Coke Mistletoe Flow is all right, I guess, although it’s pretty heavily vanilla. I expected some more peppermint. It’s not their fault. I just went in with unrealistic expectations.

It Must Be The Receipt-Giving Season

I’d made a very slight run to Meijer’s, and got, and I want to list this for you because it kind of matters:

  • Cough drops (I’ve had a cough lingering from a cold I originally got in 1994, which makes this cold a very efficient purchase, averaged out over the years)
  • Toilet paper
  • Packs of sliced cheese (5 of them)
  • Quorn imitation-chicken nuggets
  • Boca vegetarian burger patties (2 packages)
  • Bread (2 loaves)
  • Soda, or as it is known in the local vernacular, “pop” [said as “Pope” but with a short vowel] (3 boxes of 12-packs)

Along with the receipt and a couple coupons the machine spat out at me one (1) gift receipt, and I’m trying to think which of these items triggered the “this might be a gift, better offer a gift receipt” part of the register’s programming. Spitting out a gift receipt for a package of long underwear or a magazine, I understand, but, a bag of cough drops? One but not all five packs of sliced cheese? Something in potentially poor taste? This is all very mysterious.