An Impostor’s Dream


So apparently in my dream-world life, I’ve been a staff writer for Conan O’Brien for about five years now and despite that it occurred to me during some kind of special event show that I couldn’t remember having ever had anything I’d written turn up on air, ever. Which is a bit humbling, but what was really bad was during the taping of the show I realized I didn’t even know who I’d give a comedy sketch to, if I ever wrote one, if I ever wanted to see it maybe get on the air, which it wouldn’t. So that’s a bit humbling.

Anyway, I was mulling over whether I had any kind of job that meant anything in the dream-world, when I got caught up in one of those conversations which will not end with the guy playing the Conan show’s newly-minted midwestern-mayor character Roberto Boblo (his primary gimmick being an obsession with what he insists is a gold bar, but which is obviously a plastic hairbrush spray-painted kind-of-gold-ish), who refused to break character as he tried to shake me out of my funk. The upshot of this is that while wandering away from the taping I got hopelessly lost in an unfamiliar area of the Great Adventure amusement park in Jackson, New Jersey.

I think this offers lessons useful for all of us.

Theme Park Flashing from the Dream World


So, if my dreams are a reliable guide to anything, apparently, the Great Adventure amusement park in central New Jersey has been having a problem with flash mobs of people wearing those Scream-style melting-ghostface masks and bright orange academic robes gathering and breaking into Busby Berkeley-style dance numbers, and park security is almost laughably unable to do anything about it. The Daily Show has been weirdly hard on them for not being effecting in slowing down this bit of whimsical excess.

Still, you’d imagine the park would catch people sneaking in ghost masks and academic garb at the entry gate when they put your phones through metal detectors and stuff like that, not to mention the carts they use for the pinwheel portions of the dance. This does suggest that it’s got to be partly an inside job, someone working for the park bringing in costumes and equipment through the employee gate unobserved. Except surely they’d be watching for people with wheelbarrows full of masks and orange robes after the first couple times this happened, right?

The implication is that this is all a put-on by Great Adventure and that the park is deliberately acting as if this is all a spontaneous ongoing affair so as to make themselves look looser and less corporate. I have to credit Dream World Six Flags for being crafty but kind of underhanded if that really is what they’re doing. If they are, then I don’t want to know.