Comic Strip I’ve Wanted To Punch Harder Than I’ve Wanted To Punch Anything Else In My Life Today
Mary Worth 
 With the footnote that if you did not know the context then Saturday’s Mary Worth would be hilarious. Any comic strip where someone barks out “Bah!” is 90% of the way to hilarious. But trust me. In context? You’re going to want to punch this comic strip harder than you’ve wanted to punch anything in your life. Promise.
Reference: The Sputniks Crisis and Early United States Space Policy: A Critique of the Historiography of Space (Studies in Military and Strategic History), Rip Bulkeley.
Yes, I am very aware of the past week’s developments in Mary Worth (21 more panels, 13 with explicit muffin content, bringing the year to a total of 61 muffin panels out of 154 possible) only to interrupt all the wonderful goofy muffin content with actual assault.
Yes, poinsettia that’s still technically going from Christmas is probably in its last days and spending them waiting until it’s quiet in the house so it can drop a shriveled leaf in exactly the way to make the biggest, loudest rustle possible. So yes, our poinsettia is a drama queen is what I’m saying.
Yes, Funky Winkerbean has spent two weeks and counting establishing the fact that Wealthy Comic Book Collector Chester Hagglemore Yes That Is Too His Name wanting to talk with former comic book guy Mopey Pete without saying what he wants to talk about. (I’m guessing it’s Hagglemore Thank You The Theoretical Lead Of The Strip Is Named “Funky Winkerbean” So Let’s Just Carry On And Get Through This Quick As Possible is figuring to restart the whole Batom Comics lineup and he wants Mopey Pete to write them all so we can see all kinds of strips where Mopey Pete can’t finish stuff on deadline.) Also yes, it is a retcon to say Mopey Pete used to write for Batom Comics, since he was previously shown to write for Marvel and then DC. And the strip sure had been running like Batom Comics was a long-gone publisher brought back to memory by one of its properties being made into a movie.
Yes, niacin was first synthesized in the 1860s, decades before anyone even suspected vitamins were a thing and long before anyone would imagine it had any nutritional value. It was used as a photographic chemical under the name “nicotinic acid”.
People liked my compilation of things I didn’t use in August articles. I’d like to offer some more but I had fewer humor blog scraps in September. So let me throw in some scraps from other writing projects. Good luck doing what you will with them.
I do have shirts in solid colors that are going to seem sad in as many as two years, when we know better about fashion. But they don’t seem regrettable in the ways everything I wore in the 1980s did. I’d like to blame it on whatever problem we were having with color from 1975 through about 1988, but no, I’m just bad at picking out stuff. Also at the 80s Dance Night I wasn’t wearing anything with unauthorized holes. I reached the point in life where I stopped wearing clothes that had appreciable and major holes in non-clothing-appropriate places three years ago. Except for just wearing stuff inside the house or if I’m not figuring to meet anybody. — cut as unneeded from the 80s Dance Night essay
you unspeakable arrogant monster of vanity and entitled narcissism — cut perhaps wisely from a letter to an estranged friend I’m trying to make up with
I was going to be embarrassed that I bought Johnny Mnemonic from the video store but I paid cash so they couldn’t know who I was — cut because I actually paid by credit card, and to a cashier who recognized me because she and her friend who was just hanging out there helping out, apparently, both know and sometimes work with my love
that can often be good — cut from a little conversation when I remembered that it really can only be good about one time in five, which just isn’t often enough
the powerful message communicated by having a lumpy potato dog inhale a distraught cat through his nose — cut from a discussion of Saturday’s Luann comic strip
and after the fracas the mop was left abandoned in the street. sometime over the night, a car ran over the mop. — cut because it was too sad that someone lost their mop over the incident, really
In non-mathematics comic strip news, Bud Sagendorf’s Popeye has somehow got eight more weeks to run of the question of what Popeye’s last name is, and I’m strangely fascinated by the development that now Popeye knows what his last name is. It can’t have been revealed to the audience when the series first ran in 1980, because Wikipedia hasn’t got Popeye’s last name and I’d imagine Popeye’s last name to be almost as fascinating to Wikipedia as Lieutenant Columbo’s first name. (It’s “Lieutenant”.) So somehow this has to get through eight more weeks of story without anyone saying a name that left him weeping, and, without getting back to the question of what Olive Oyl’s middle name is.
And past that, over in Greg Evans and Karen Evans’s Luann, four teenagers have managed to get themselves battered, torn, and injured after the ordeal of walking across an empty field, because they are apparently very old people made of a brittle, defective plaster.