Ferret Skepticism

At the pet store is a plastic cage full of ferrets, which the label says are “lively tubes of furry fun”. Thing is every time I’m in the pet store, the ferrets are sprawled out on their backs, sleeping, dozing tubes of socks that had a wee too wild a party last night. I’ll suppose they’re fun, but the evidence isn’t on stage there. Just as well. Right next to them are guinea pigs, whom I understand much better, because while they may not be tubes of fun or anything they are always looking around with an expression that says, “Are you certain I was supposed to be invited to this meeting?”

The Secret Life Of Ray Davies

My love and I were in the bookstore and leafed through Ray Davies’s book Americana: The Kinks, The Riff, The Road: The Story, and ran across a delightful little point. Apparently, in the mid-70s, when The Kinks had gotten really into doing complex stage shows performing their concept albums about the shifting mores and quiet existential despair of the British middle classes, Ray Davies would routinely choose to go to parties afterwards. But he didn’t want to be recognized and hassled throughout the parties, and I am sympathetic to this. I wouldn’t go to parties either if people kept asking me to sing “I’m Not Like Everybody Else”, though neither would they if they ever heard me singing. So for a while there he would go unrecognized at after-show parties by wearing the mask he’d been wearing during the show.

I’m delighted to learn that during his most energetic, hard-rocking, hard-partying days at the touring peak of his career, Ray Davies was apparently also a seven-year-old boy sneaking into the cinemas wearing a long trenchcoat and sitting on Dave Davies’s shoulders. Of course, based on the book, the costume apparently worked and he didn’t get people saying they recognized him, possibly because none of the partygoers wanted to be punched by Ray Davies. I’m also sympathetic to this. One of my goals in life is to get through it without being punched by Ray Davies, and that’s going pretty well so far; how about you?

The Foods Of Mary Worth

Mary Worth hopes her ``chicken salad'' appetizers will be a hit.
Mary Worth hopes her “chicken salad” appetizers will be a hit. Meanwhile, she scrunches up, defensively, the way you might if someone were berating you for messing up the Parker account.

I’m sorry to bother folks with the story comic strips, because they don’t know how to tell stories and they’re never really comic on purpose, but Monday’s Mary Worth got to me in that way these things sometimes do.

So: why does Mary Worth’s “chicken salad” have bones? Does she just arbitrarily assign names to randomly selected objects smothered in beige? “Oh, I hope you all enjoy my Baked Macaroni Whimsies! They’re made of pebbles and children’s scissors! And I’m not making promises but for next weekend’s potluck I’m thinking my Artichoke-Guacamole Dip since I’ve got to do something with this crop of chipped-up Star Trek: Nemesis DVDs I grabbed at the Blockbuster going-out-of-business sale!”