Statistics Saturday: The United States In Descending Order Of Thickness


Also including the District of Columbia because, heck, what does that cost me?

State Or District Of Columbia Thickness
Alaska 20,310 ft / 6191 m
California 14,783 ft / 4506 m
Washington 14,417 ft / 4394 m
Hawaii 13,803 ft / 4207 m
Nevada 12,665 ft / 3860 m
Arizona 12,565 ft / 3830 m
Idaho 11,954 ft / 3644 m
Utah 11,354 ft / 3461 m
Oregon 11,249 ft / 3429 m
Colorado 11,123 ft / 3390 m
Montana 11,003 ft / 3354 m
Wyoming 10,709 ft / 3264 m
New Mexico 10,323 ft / 3147 m
Texas 8,751 ft / 2667 m
North Carolina 6,684 ft / 2037 m
Tennessee 6,466 ft / 1971 m
New Hampshire 6,288 ft / 1917 m
South Dakota 6,276 ft / 1913 m
Virginia 5,729 ft / 1746 m
New York 5,343 ft / 1629 m
Maine 5,270 ft / 1606 m
Georgia 4,784 ft / 1458 m
Oklahoma 4,686 ft / 1428 m
West Virginia 4,623 ft / 1409 m
Nebraska 4,587 ft / 1398 m
Vermont 4,300 ft / 1311 m
Kentucky 3,887 ft / 1185 m
South Carolina 3,560 ft / 1085 m
Massachusetts 3,489 ft / 1063 m
Kansas 3,361 ft / 1025 m
Maryland 3,360 ft / 1024 m
Pennsylvania 3,213 ft / 979 m
North Dakota 2,757 ft / 840 m
Arkansas 2,698 ft / 822 m
Alabama 2,413 ft / 736 m
Connecticut 2,379 ft / 725 m
New Jersey 1,803 ft / 550 m
Minnesota 1,700 ft / 518 m
Missouri 1,542 ft / 470 m
Michigan 1,408 ft / 429 m
Wisconsin 1,372 ft / 418 m
Iowa 1,191 ft / 363 m
Ohio 1,094 ft / 333 m
Illinois 955 ft / 291 m
Indiana 937 ft / 286 m
Rhode Island 811 ft / 247 m
Mississippi 807 ft / 246 m
Louisiana 543 ft / 165 m
Delaware 447 ft / 136 m
District of Columbia 408 ft / 124 m
Florida 345 ft / 105 m

Source: Wikipedia from which I learn there’s only two states that have spots below sea level? That’s weird. Like, I understand Colorado not having any spots below sea level, but there isn’t one rocky crag somewhere in, like, North Carolina that runs below the ocean level? And like how has someone not dug a big cement-lined pit somewhere on Long Island to set it underneath the sea level just to show they can do something pointless like that? You know? Also, I guess mines and stuff don’t count for lowest elevations, which is fair enough, but wouldn’t they start counting if the mine’s ceiling collapsed? It seems like states could totally rig their thickness rankings if they wanted. Plus, like, I know for a fact that New York State claims sovereignty over the seabed of the entire Hudson River; doesn’t that count as the lowest elevation in the state? I’m saying while I give you this list I think there’s a lot of pointless argument to have about what the lowest points of elevation in states such as New York and Delaware are and yes that is because I’m from New Jersey and angry about the implications of colonial-era borders.

You know, you never really think of Kansas as having more of an elevation change than Pennsylvania does. I feel a bit weirdly defensive about it myself.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index fell five points today when no one brought an umbrella and it got all drizzly out.

116

What To Call People Without Getting Them Necessarily Angry


My love and I were talking in the car about what to call people from various states, because our podcasts were out of fresh episodes. You know, like, “Michigander” for people from Michigan, or “Marylander only the emphasis sounds weird” for people from Maryland. We knew better than to try calling people from Massachusetts anything. And we’re pretty sure that we could call people from Maine “Mainers”, since they don’t see much reason to speak to us anyway.

Still, our shared interest in the old-fashioned hobby of remembering stuff failed us for a couple of states. For example, we can’t figure out a good term for people from Connecticut, although that doesn’t matter much since we couldn’t afford to even drive through the state, much less talk about anybody in it. New Hampshire, though, and Arkansas are giving us trouble and we’re just going to have to insist that people from those states move out in order that we don’t have to have a term to describe folks from that state. New Hampshire already has what seems like a perfectly functional backup in Vermont. Arkansas I don’t know so well. I’ll trust them to figure out where to go. They’ve probably got their section of the United States pretty well figured out, apart from the adjectives.

PS: I topped out at 957 page views, from 458 visitors, yesterday. I knew I should’ve logged out and hit refresh just 43 more times.

Statistics Saturday: States of the United States Alphabetized By Capital


Isn’t it a little bit surprising there aren’t two states with capital cities the same name? Like, why couldn’t Kentucky have put its capitol in Jackson? Doesn’t “Jackson, Kentucky” make at least as much sense as “Frankfort, Kentucky”? And wouldn’t it just be great if the capital of Washington were Lincoln? Why not “Dover, Oregon”? “Albany, Montana” is no more absurd than Billings. I think some of these states could make do to share capital city names. If we picked some state — let’s say Colorado — and declared that its capital was named Providence, and we called it that long enough and consistently enough, eventually we’d be right. Especially if we edited Wikipedia. City names aren’t carved in stone, except for in concrete highway overpasses. We have the power to make them anything we want. We need to use this power for good, is what I mean, and I propose that making some states tied in this ordering is a good.

  1. New York
  2. Maryland
  3. Georgia
  4. Maine
  5. Texas
  6. Louisiana
  7. North Dakota
  8. Idaho
  9. Massachusetts
  10. Nevada
  11. West Virginia
  12. Wyoming
  13. South Carolina
  14. Ohio
  15. New Hampshire
  16. Colorado
  17. Iowa
  18. Delaware
  19. Kentucky
  20. Pennsylvania
  21. Connecticut
  22. Montana
  23. Hawaii
  24. Indiana
  25. Mississippi
  26. Missouri
  27. Alaska
  28. Michigan
  29. Nebraska
  30. Arkansas
  31. Wisconsin
  32. Alabama
  33. Vermont
  34. Tennessee
  35. Oklahoma
  36. Washington
  37. Arizona
  38. South Dakota
  39. Rhode Island
  40. North Carolina
  41. Virginia
  42. California
  43. Minnesota
  44. Oregon
  45. Utah
  46. New Mexico
  47. Illinois
  48. Florida
  49. Kansas
  50. New Jersey