Okay, I Guess Maybe There Are Reasons To Stick Around


I was unsubscribing from e-mails, mostly places that want me to donate to political figures because we’re facing a catastrophic defeat and on the brink of a triumphant victory sixteen times a day even now. And one tried to tease me back in by offering this heap of subjects they’d still like to contact me about:

Screenshot asking: 'Not ready to unsubscribe completely? Stay updated on the following topics: 190428 Grand Rapids, 2017 Petition Signer, 9.24 Northville, April 24th General L, Email Action Takers, General, General 2016, Recent Ad Names Surp, Southeast Michigan'.
I’m sorry, I’m only interested in following a Specific L.

My assumption is that most of these are procedurally generated subject lines, hoping that I’ll stick around and ask what the heck a “Recent Ad Names Surp” is. I thought it was something about syrup at first glance. Some things, you know?

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

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