Statistics Saturday: Some Fake Roman Numerals And What They Mean

• T (twelve)
• E (three)
• W (six)
• F (ten)
• R (twenty but with the wind chill bringing it to the low teens)
• Γ (π)
• K (nine hundred ninety-nine)
• A (regnal years of the current emperor, to date)
• L (3014 RKCB, referencing the lowest step response to the 4NT key card asking bid in a right jolly game of bridge)
• U (ninety, but with the connotation of talking sarcastically to the Etruscans)

Reference: The Zimmermann Telegram, Barbara W Tuchman.

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Statistics Saturday: The Weather, Over The Year

The months are numbered starting at zero because I couldn’t figure how to make Apple Numbers do a little spreadsheet where the major axis is ‘months’ and finally decided, you know? Making a stacked bar chart as a timeline is such an obvious and useful application that I am not spending the time it takes to figure out how to do it. I only this week learned if you hold down ‘option’ while clicking on file formats in Preview you suddenly can save files as GIFs or Microsoft BMPs or any of like a dozen other formats. I can’t learn another new thing so soon.

Reference: Look, I’m just a little chilly is all, okay?

Statistics Saturday: Some Fictional Greek Zodiac Signs

• The Horse
• The Chariot
• The Philosopher
• The Hydra
• The Tyrant
• The Swan
• The Anktikythera Mechanisms
• The Olympic Wreath
• The Agora-Quarreller (sometimes regarded as just The Philosopher again)
• The Tyrant-Overthrowers
• The Bull-Headed Snake-Tailed Basilisk-Bodied Lion-Footed Off-Road Multi-Use Form
• The Sailor

Reference: X-15 Research Results, Wendell H Stillwell.

Statistics Saturday: Things That Non-Vegetarians Think The Rest Of Us Need To Hear

• Salad isn’t food! Salad is what food eats!
• You know, chickens are really mean to other chickens.
• I’d love to be vegetarian but then I couldn’t put bacon on everything.
• You know, the Indian word for ‘vegetarian’ is ‘bad hunter’.
• Yeah, that’s cool but some of us have to be the carnivores.
• You know, the Humane Society of the United States is a lobbying group, not an animal shelter.
• Oh, yeah, this is a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. They make a great tuna steak.
• So when you go for fast food are you, like, just there to be all smug about everyone getting their chicken nuggets or stuff?
• I couldn’t possibly keep up with all the measurements and supplements and stuff you have to do to be a vegetarian. I’m impressed.
• You know, you get E coli from lettuce.
• You know, almost nobody actually has a problem digesting gluten, you can just eat whatever you want if you haven’t actually been to an allergy specialist.
• That’s all right, I’ll eat enough sausage for both of us!
• Wait, that’s got cheese on it, you can’t eat cheese, right?
• It’s so weird you want, like, burgers that taste like meat but that nobody has to kill a cow for, instead of something really vegetarian.
• You know, hamsters will eat their own babies if you let them.
• So when you go for fast food do they, like, just throw a handful of yard clippings in your face?

Reference: The New York Public Library Desk Reference, Paul Fargis, Sheree Bykofsky.

Statistics Saturday: When I Find Typos

Quick: do you spot the typo in this chart? Let me know in August of 2023.

Reference: Flesh in the Age of Reason: The Modern Foundations of Body and Soul, Roy Porter.

Statistics Saturday: Animals We Can Say The Guy Who Draws Beetle Bailey Has Or Hasn’t Seen

Animal	Can we say the guy who draws Beetle Bailey has seen this?
Duck	No because why aren’t its feet webbed and do they even rest in trees? But if that’s not a mallard then what is it?
Squirrel	Still Not Yet
Snake	Yes
Another duck or maybe a badly colored pigeon?	I guess? I’m stuck figuring out what it’s holding.
Horse	Maybe?
Bear	From the front and only the front
Mouse	Also only from the front
Butterfly	Yes
Uh … is … that one of those comical fish lures you see in 1950s cartoons and sitcoms about marginally competent fathers?	I guess so?
Whatever kind of bird that is standing on the edge of the large tub there?	No
Raccoon	Turns out, yeah
Dog? Maybe? In that lower right corner? Or maybe it’s another bear?	Y … uh … yeah? Maybe?

Reference:

Greg Walker’s Beetle Bailey for the 14th of May, 2019. So, mallards, bears, and raccoons are omnivores. While mice and squirrels are mostly herbivorous, they’ll eat meat given the chance. I’ve heard rumors of an herbivorous snake but I’m not believing it before I see Mark Trail introduce it in a Sunday panel. And if that’s a dog instead of another bear cub under the table, that’s not an herbivore.

Statistics Saturday: 80s Computer Magazine Titles, So Far As You Know

• Pet Finder (1978 – 84)
• TI Times (from 1982, TImes)
• CompuMonthly
• Adam’s Friends
• bits (1976-86; BITS2000 1986-93)
• Mo/Demonstrator
• Save**
• DigiToday
• P.O.W.E.R. (1981-84; P.O.W.E.R.plus 84-86)
• CompuMonthly’s Apple IIGS Galleria
• Lotus 1-2-3 Gazette
• Transputer WorkLife
• baud121
• CHKin
• SoftWhys
• CompuPlus (1980-84; P.O.W.E.R.plus 84-86)
• Maryland 8 Bit Computer User Group Quarterly (1982?-85?; disputed 87?, possibly M16CUG Quarterly 1989?-??)
• TRS-81 (1979-81)
• DigiTomorrow
• ML Express

Omitted for clarity: Hires and STart which I thought I was making up but turned out to actually exist.

Statistics Saturday: Reasons To Believe The Person in Charge Of Quaker Oats’s Cereal Mascots In 1996 Had Already Taken A New Job

Characters introduced to the Quaker Oats lineup in 1996:

• For Marshmallow Safari: “Rhinocular is a pink-colored Rhino. He wears a pith helmet, and looks ready for safari.”
• For Sweet Crunch: “Schnoz is a pink-colored shark. He wears a yellow sun hat and glasses. He surfs standing up on a surfboard.”
• For Sweet Puffs: “Cat-Man-Do is a cool brown cat (who looks a lot like a fox). This cool cat wears sunglasses, a green suit and hat, and a red tie with white polka-dots. He plays a mean sax.”
• For Apple Zaps: “Duckbert is a red-haired duck who loves soccer. He’s wears a red soccer uniform complete with soccer cleats. He’s shown kicking a soccer ball.”
• For Frosted Flakers: “Brewster MacIvory is a walrus. He wears a ski cap and sunglasses. He surfs belly down on his surfboard.”
• For Fruitangy Oh!s: “Koolio is a brown swinging monkey. He wears a backwards red baseball cap, untied red sneakers, and sunglasses.”
• For Cocoa Blasts: “Kamicowzi is a brown and white flying cow with horns and wings. She wears an old-style brown aviators cap and sunglasses.”

All of these texts, and mascots, are as quoted from Topher’s Castle’s magnificent, and genuinely delightful old-school-Internet compilation of breakfast cereal characters.

Also, reasons to believe that Topher’s Castle is making up some breakfast cereal mascots in order to prove copyright infringement by disreputable web sites like mine:

• For Apple Zaps: “Duckbert is a red-haired duck who loves soccer. He’s wears a red soccer uniform complete with soccer cleats. He’s shown kicking a soccer ball.”

But to be sincere, the site has a heartening number of characters tracked down and described, with pictures for a lot of them. It really makes you appreciate how many breakfast cereals have tried to make a kangaroo mascot and how somehow it just never takes. I am so happy this person put this work into this project.

Rory Raccoon says that yeah, mascotting for store-brand cereal isn’t as glamorous as his 1960s work for Post Sugar Sparkled Flakes, but it’s much lower-stress and honestly more enjoyable. The low stakes mean he’s able to put more of himself into the performance. But he would like to work with Claudius Crow again, if the project presented itself.

Statistics Saturday: Some Fictional Road Signs

• Caution: Road
• Stock Photographs next 3 miles
• No Weather Zone
• Keep Right Except To Giraffe
• In-Jokes
• Mediocrity Far As The Eye Can See
• Dental Technicians And Supporters Only
• To The South Is
• Impertinent Scoundrels, All
• Wark Zone Ahead: Watch For Seagulls
• Save Your Files
• You’ll Make It Through This
• Orbs, Mister Christian. Orbs
• Perfected Frost Zone
• Nostalgic Haze – Visibility 15-20 Years Ago
• You Had Your Chance
• Monitor Helicopters For Speeding
• It Made Sense In Context
• Welp
• A NEW CAR!

Reference: The Kaiser’s Merchant Ships in World War I, William Lowell Putnam.

Statistics Saturday: When Easter Is Scheduled To Occur, 2020-2038

• 2020: Sunday
• 2021: Sunday (Western); Sunday (Orthodox)
• 2022: Sunday
• 2023: Sunday
• 2024: Sunday
• 2025: Sunday
• 2026: Sunday (Western); Sunday (Orthodox)
• 2027: Sunday (Western); Sunday (Orthodox)
• 2028: Sunday
• 2029: Sunday
• 2030: Sunday
• 2031: Sunday
• 2032: Sunday
• 2033: Sunday
• 2034: Sunday (Western); Sunday (Orthodox)
• 2035: Sunday
• 2036: Sunday
• 2037: Sunday (Western); Sunday (Orthodox)
• 2038: [ Will not occur due to the Year 2038 or “Chuckletrousers” bug ] (Western); Sunday (Orthodox)

Reference: Look sometimes you’re trying to develop like four ideas and every one of them seems promising and like it should work and then it turns out none of them are coming together and deadline is and you have to go with the thing you have that is the least not-satisfying, all right? That’s my reference.

Statistics Saturday: Some English Words That Amazingly All Share A Common Proto-Indo-European Root

• father
• paternal
• fraternity
• pitter-patter
• pastie
• infatuation
• contrapunctual
• spats
• twelve
• pantropy
• paddleboat
• burrito
• fatuousity
• potato
• waters
• expropriation
• factithesis
• disappearance
• burritino
• Thursday

Reference: Report of the Apollo 13 Review Board [ The Cortright Commission ]

Statistics Saturday: The Seven-Day Minus-Forecast

• Sunday: 1st April
• Monday: 2nd of April
• Tuesday: 3rd of April
• Wednesday: 4th of April
• Thursday: 5th of April
• Friday: 6th of April
• Saturday: 7th of April

Reference: The Mathematical Experience, , Philip J Davis and Reuben Hersh.

Statistics Saturday: The Seven-Day Forecast

• Sunday: Early April
• Monday: Early April
• Tuesday: Early April
• Wednesday: Mid-April (already!)
• Thursday: Mid-April (seriously?)
• Friday: Mid-April (just, wow)
• Saturday: Mid-April (I mean, 2019 started so recently it’s still like 2018)

Reference: The Rocket Men: Vostok and Voskhod, The First Soviet Manned Spaceflights, Rex Hall and David J Shayler.

Statistics Saturday: The Seven-Day Forecast

• Sunday: This Coming Saturday
• Monday: This Coming Sunday
• Tuesday: This Coming Monday
• Wednesday: This Coming Tuesday
• Thursday: This Coming Wednesday
• Friday: This Coming Thursday
• Saturday: This Coming Friday

Reference: Redcoats and Rebels: The American Revolution through British Eyes, Christopher Hibbert.

Statistics Saturday: The Seven-Day Forecast

• Sunday: Seven day forecast
• Monday: Six day forecast
• Tuesday: Five day forecast
• Wednesday: Four day forecast, or as they say in the trades “fourcast”
• Thursday: Three day forecast
• Friday: Two day forecast
• Saturday: Gulp!

Reference: The March of Democracy, John Truslow Adams.

Statistics Saturday: The Seven-Day Forecast

• Sunday: Sunday
• Monday: Monday
• Tuesday: Tuesday
• Wednesday: Wednesday
• Thursday: Thursday
• Friday: Friday
• Saturday: Saturday

Reference: The Wizards of Armageddon, Fred Kaplan.

Statistics Saturday: ‘E’ Content, by letter

Letter	‘E’ Content
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I	[1]
J
K
L
M	[1]
N	[2]
O
P
π
Q
R
S
T
U	[3]
V
W	[3]
X
Y
Z

[1] Value is dependent on the typeface used.

[2] Value is dependent on the typeface used and only applies to the lowercase ‘n’.

[3] Value is extremely dependent on the typeface used.

Reference: Troy: A Collar City History, Don Rittner.

Statistics Saturday: The Flawed Nature Of Movies, Using _Gnomeo and Juliet_ As The Yardstick

A note on methodology. Movies are compared based on the number of Goofs recorded at the Internet Movie Database. Goofs listed as “character error” or “incorrectly regarded as goofs” are deducted from the total. The reason for not counting the second kind of goof is that goofs which are not goofs should not be counted as goofs. Please sit down and hold your head in your hands until dizziness from that last sentence passes. The reason for not counting the first kind of goof is that fictional characters are permitted to be mistaken about things, unlike real people.

Yes, the lone unflawed film in all of moviemaking history is 1988’s Hot To Trot, the gripping story of how John Candy is a talking horse who can give good horse-racing tips. I assume his character was killed and reincarnated as a horse. Why else would a talent like John Candy’s be the voice of a horse? I don’t remember the movie really. Wouldn’t it be a kick if in the original script John Candy is a talking horse who gives good stock-market tips, but the studio worried that was too confusing a storyline and wanted it simplified to horse-racing tips? Anyway, yes, Hot To Trot, the lone flawless movie ever produced, other than The Bed Sitting Room (1969). Also Running Brave (1983). The Reluctant Dragon (1941) has no reported goofs but does include Goofy and is therefore unclassifiable.

Reference: Computers in Spaceflight: The NASA Experience, James E. Tomayko.

Oh yeah also Kidco (1984) and Dr Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam (1985) contain no known goofs.

Statistics Saturday: Some Early Radio Soap Operas

• Clara, Lu, and Em
• Myrt and Marge
• Betty and Bob
• Judy and Jane
• Tess and Tessier
• Louise of Saint Louis [ from 1934, “of Decatur, Illinois” ]
• Mary, Marlon, and the Midge
• Danielle and Danny
• Betsy’s Other Herself
• Ann, Annie, Andrew, Andy, and Vivian
• Bob, Bill, and Betty of Binghamton [ from 1934, “of Boston” ]
• John Jane and Jane Johns
• Jane Jones, Department Store Attorney
• The Girls Of Decatur, Illinois [ from 1934, “of Saint Louis” ]
• Tomorrow’s Yesterday
• When Will Love Ever Find Aunt Kitty?
• Aunt Bachelor Wife
• One Pepper
• Barry and Billiam [ from 1934, “of Binghamton” ]
• Secret Bride

Reference: Chariots for Apollo: A History of Manned Lunar Spacecraft. Courtney G Brooks, James M Grimwood, Loyd S Swenson Jr.

Statistics Saturday: Some Grammy Awards

• Largest Bowl of Anise Hard Candies Fused Together
• Distinctive Tiny Scented Soaps You’re Most Afraid To Use
• Silverware And Plate That Together Make The Most Undefinably Eerie Scraping Sound
• Most Refrigerator With The Crushed-Ice Dispenser You’re Not Allowed To Use
• Room That Most Smells of Cedar Despite Having Nothing Cedar In It
• Scratchiest Blankets Covering The Most Of The Sofa
• Sleekest Television Set Put On Top Of The Widest 1970s Color Television Set That’s Easily Four Feet Front To Back
• Land-Line Telephone That Most Has Push-Buttons But In A Circle Like It Was A Dial Phone Somehow
• Most Boiled Selection of Off-White Dinner Foods
• Room That Least Smells of Cedar Although The Cedar Chest Is In It

Reference: The Rocket Men: Vostok and Voskhod, the First Soviet Manned Spaceflights, Rex Hall and David J Shayler

A note about research methods. Some may accuse this department of focusing entirely on its own experiences and not adequately sampling the full conceptual space of grandmotherly presences. To this we answer no, we called our grandmothers ‘grandma’ and ‘mom-mom’, none of this casual ‘grammy’ stuff for us and so therefore nyah.

Statistics Saturday: Some Names Of Machines That Used To Be Personal Occupations

• Computer
• Typewriter
• Calculator
• Washer
• Charger
• Toaster
• Mic [ previously “Mike” ]
• Carousel
• Fiddler
• Grover
• Bumper
• Terrier
• Fastener
• Reuter
• Rotor
• Referrer
• Rotolactor
• Footballer
• Compressor
• Kangarobot

Reference: Star Fleet Technical Manual, Franz Joseph.

Statistics Saturday: Most Popular Posts Of The First Ten Years Here

This weekend’s the anniversary of when I started this blog! So I thought to look back over its popular stuff again.

• 2013: S J Perelman: Captain Future, Block That Kick!
• 2014: The Secret Life Of Ray Davies
• 2015: I Don’t Know What’s Going On In Apartment 3-G Anymore
• 2016: Why Does Mary Worth Look Different?
  
• 2017: What’s Going On With Judge Parker?
• 2018: What The Heck Happened To Nancy and Why Does It Look Weird?
• 2019 [to date]: What’s Going On In The Phantom (Weekdays)? What’s The Plan To Kill Heloise Walker? July – September 2018.
• 2020 [projected]: Whats Going On In Mary Worth? What’s With All The Space Otters In Mary Worth? September – November 2020.
• 2021 [projected]: Where Are The Tigers: Towards a Theory of the Revolutionary Nature of Bill Watterson by Examining Four Comic Strips Held Up As “A New Calvin-and-Hobbes”
• 2022 [projected]: Five Astounding Facts About Turbo, The Movie About A Snail In The Indianapolis 500

Reference: A History of Modern France, Alfred Cobban.

Statistics Saturday: Some Useful Triplets Of Words

Proximate Form	Demonstrative Form	Interrogative Form
here	there	where
hither	thither	whither
hat	that	what
he	the	whe (*)
hence	thence	whence
horn	thorn	worn (**)
hen	then	when
his	this	whis (*)
hack	thack(*)	whack
hit	thit	whit
hump	thump	whump
heir	their	wheir (*)
herefore	therefore	wherefore
heretofore	theretofore	wheretofore

(*) denotes a word which theory indicates should exist but which has not been confirmed by an independent word laboratory.

(**) the ‘h’ was lost during the Algeciras Conference when it rolled under a table at the end of the room and was too much trouble to salvage.

Reference: The Paper: The Life and Death of the New York Herald Tribune, Richard Kluger.

Statistics Saturday: What Web Site Designers Hope You Think About The New Design

• Well, that helps things!
• Suddenly I can find the stuff I’ve been coming here for!
• The elements flow together so much more logically now!
• Those are some great typefaces!
• Gosh I hope it has that infinite-scrolling thing where you never find the bottom of any page ever.
• I’m glad it doesn’t do that thing where it just loads the entire page, and instead I have to scroll around and look at stuff before it displays.
• Okay, but can they send me notifications now?
• Maybe it is designed to be read on the phone but it looks so nice and spacious on a computer!
• Wait, it isn’t part of a web ring anymore?
• I hope someone gave the designers a hug after they were told to make all these changes.

Reference: The Lure Of The Integers, Joe Roberts.

Statistics Saturday: Some Movies Set Wholly Or Partially In 2019

• Blade Runner
• Akira
• The Running Man
• The Time Machine (1960) (think about it)
• 2010: The Year We Make Contact (in the epilogue, with the two suns setting over Washington, D.C.)
• Parks and Recreation: The Motion Picture
• Thunderbird 6
• One Million B.C. (1940)
• Back To The Future 2 1/2 (the direct-to-DVD ‘sidequel’ doing the Rosencrantz-and-Guildenstern bit for the guys in 1955 Biff’s gang, not the fan-made one about the future of Alternate 1985)
• Space: 1999: The Next Generation (1982)
• The Fly II
• Avengers: Infinity War
• Transformers: The Movie (1985)
• Spaceballs (the story’s framing device scenes, cut after the first theatrical run)
• One Million B.C. (1966)

Reference: Dictionary of Minor Planet Names, Lutz D Schmadel.

Statistics Saturday: Some Highfalutin Words And Their Better Alternatives

Highfalutin Word	Better Alternative
multiple	many
compartment	bin, box
utilize	use, make usable
systematize	lose
initiate	burn
harbinger	warning
transpire	distract, confound
adverse	anthony
ubiquitous	unavoidable
effluvium	acetominophen
detrimental	trimental [ “de” is here etymologically an intensifier to “trimental” and not, as carelessly assumed, a negation ]
hinder (as in to restrict, limit, or make worse)	hinder (as in tuckus)
perpetuate	paint
fluctuation	fluctoid, inventory
eventuality	[ best dropped altogether and never replaced ]
anomalous	strawberry-flavored, bumpy, wiggly
dilettante	Ben, at it again
fastidious	plaid
ostracize	ostrich-size
untenable	not rounded off

Reference: A History of Mathematical Notations, Florian Cajori.

Statistics Saturday: Christmasy Stuff To Watch On The DVR While I Finish Wrapping And Decorating And Stuff

Oh yeah, also we have The Leprechauns’ Christmas Gold even though I’m like 85% sure we’ve already watched it this year and thought we’d deleted it? I don’t know. We live in complicated times. Sammy Davis Jr is appealing even though he’s like seven years old and playing the black kid who eats a record so almost all the time he’s on-screen it feels uncomfortable. Anyway, the important thing is if you haven’t seen Jacques Tati’s Mon Oncle you’ve been wrong, but you still have time to fix that. Also other Jacques Tati movies.

Not included: Arthur Christmas, because we have it on DVD but our DVD player just broke. Also not included: Robert Rossellini’s 1971 Blaise Pascal because that’s really not a Christmasy movie, right?

Reference: Wind Tunnels of NASA, Donald D Baals, William R Corliss.

Statistics Saturday: Your 2018 Christmas Songs Schedule

In comparison to that of 2014.

Day	Status
December 16	Refusing to read any more essays that want you to have an opinion on “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”.
December 18	Trying to insist the problem is they just don’t write good Christmas songs anymore and it’s not that you imprinted on the songs of your childhood and aren’t taking in new ones.
December 19	Minor-key acoustic cover of “Wonderful Christmastime” makes you exit for the kitchen, open the freezer door, stick your head in, and scream into a bag of frozen peas-and-corn.
December 20	Wishing you still had the emotional baseline that allowed you to be genuinely upset about “Santa Baby”.
December 21	Karaoke night has a group that starts out singing “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” but ends up making a fair fraction of the bar actually weepy.
December 22	Entire afternoon spent reading the lyrics to Tennessee Ernie Ford’s “Jingle-o The Brownie” and pondering dumb mysteries like why Jingle-o has such a broad and, honestly, unfocused portfolio
December 23	Attempt to fuse an argument about “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” to the question of whether pigs-in-blankets count as sandwiches somehow backfires and gets you stuck among people trying so hard to insist that Back To The Future II is somehow a “Christmas Movie” that you can’t tell exactly where the put-on is. You scream into a bag of frozen peas-and-corn-and-carrots, the extra carrots doing much to absorb the sonic blast.
December 25	Watch about 65 minutes of the movie Auntie Mame before working out that oh, the version with songs in it is just called Mame and it stars different people, it’s not just that they did some weird and very wrong edit that missed out on songs like “We Need A Little Christmas”.
December 27	Entire day lost to trying to convince people you heard a song titled “Captain Santa Claus And His Reindeer Space Patrol”. You are imagining things.
January 3	Hey, they snubbed “Father Christmas” again, didn’t they? Ray Davies is not going to be happy.

Reference: A History Of Poland, Oscar Halecki.

Statistics Saturday: Questions Raised By Rankin/Bass Christmas Specials

Rankin/Bass Christmas Specials	Questions Raised
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer	14
Frosty the Snowman	8
Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town	4
The Year Without A Santa Claus	18
Rudolph’s Shiny New Year	34
The First Christmas: The Story of the First Christmas Snow	4
The Life And Adventures Of Santa Claus	3
Jack Frost	N/A [ No one has settled the question of whether it is a Christmas special ]
Frosty’s Winter Wonderland	64
Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July	7
Pinocchio’s Christmas	11
The Little Drummer Boy, Book II	3
Nestor, The long-Eared Christmas Donkey	5
`Twas The Night Before Christmas	20
The Leprechauns’ Christmas Gold	8
Cricket On The Hearth	4
The Little Drummer Boy, Book I	5
The Stingiest Man In Town	15
Santa, Baby!	6

Reference: Two Sides of the Moon: Our Story of the Cold War Space Race, David Scott, Alexei Leonov, Christine Toomey.

Statistics Saturday: Some Christmas Carols You Don’t Remember

• Chrissy, the Christmas Mouse
• Bright Christmas Land
• The Holly and the Ivy
• Ding Dong Merrily On High
• Away In A Manger
• Got Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
• I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In
• Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
• O Christmas Tree
• O Holy Night
• O Little Town of Bethlehem
• O Come O Come Emmanuel
• O Come, All Ye Faithful
• What Child Is This
• We Three Kings of Orient Are
• Wolcum Yole

Not listed: I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas because no matter how hard you try it’s not getting out of your head.

Reference: Nathaniel’s Nutmeg: or, The True and Incredible Adventures of the Spice Trader Who Changed the Course of History, Giles Milton.