Brazened Apples. To take apples or any other fruit with edible skin and subject them to a display of outrageous behavior.
Deglaze. To take food off the window.
Reassembled Eggs. Scrambled or stirred eggs which have been placed back into a shell or similar hard container. It is not necessary to unstir them; if one does, the result is called “Delmonico Eggs”.
Oignon Brute. A half-peeled onion placed on a skillet in a manner characteristic of 1960s and 70s architecture, generally reliant on concrete, with the working structure implied by the shapes of the visible exterior or of elements within the living interior space.
Adumbrate. To set a relish or other briny material on the shelf in the pantry by mistake until you remember it maybe should be refrigerated, but you’re not sure if that’s really necessary or just cautious.
Roast Jeté. To set something in the oven while jumping.
Discoursing the Meat. To remove the edible part of an artichoke from a golf course or other public walkway.
Naked Spaghetti. The most dangerous pasta.
Icing. To make any kind of food wait for you.
Serendipity Sauce. Any process which moistens your cooking surface without your effort, including the automatic sprinklers going off.
Blornching. To over-stir the meat, meat substitute, or thick pudding, to the point you neglect everything else, and you end up not even liking the meat either.
Escanaba. (Localism.) To have or serve food in Michigan’s upper peninsula.
Scowling Cheese. Any hard or semi-soft cheese wich has been made to disapprove.
Western-Fried (as in steak). To southern-fry something while lost.
Chunked Wheat. To sort into four or fewer categories a pile of flour or other wheat product.
Reference: Defining NASA: The Historical Debate Over The Agency’s Mission, W D Kay.
Set it in the microwave without turning the microwave on.
Transfer the pizza repeatedly from one thermos bottle to another.
Get people on social media talking about it a lot.
Give the pizza a stern lecture about the importance of conserving its heat.
Set the pizza in a hot bath.
Ask your neighborhood’s ice elemental to never cold your pizza up. This may involve a Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck-like argument about “you will” “I won’t” “you will” “I won’t” “You won’t” “I will” “Have it your way, Doc.”
Set the pizza on top of a coffee mug that, on inspection, turns out to hold iced tea.
Hypnotize the pizza.
Shine a laser on it, but it’s one of those keychain lasers you get as a gift when the department wants you to not actually feel better about working there.
Engage the pizza in a heated debate.
Embarrass your pizza by reminding it of that one time it had a Tweet go a little viral and it misspelled “public” and it was twenty responses in before someone pointed it out.
Wrap the pizza in some cute sweaters.
Reference: Airborne Trailblazer: Two Decades with NASA Langley’s 737 Flying Laboratory, Lane E Wallace.
Also not mentioned: that Tintin project because I don’t think Tintin was ever a comic strip and, like, Betty Boop had a short-lived comic even if it wasn’t good.
Also, coming back to the mentioned: Motley’s Crew? Really? Huh. I mean, I guess that’s a comic strip that existed all right, but … Really. Huh. I mean … huh. You’re passing on Bill Schorr’s The Grizzwells for this, then.
Reference: Nathaniel’s Nutmeg: How One Man’s Courage Changed The Course of History, Giles Milton.
The one where the waitresses go out on strike and they explain that to be a legal picket line the people in it have to stay in motion at all times, although it’s probably okay if Vera gets on roller skates so she can just slide around, even though she doesn’t know how to stop or steer and she goes rolling off into … traffic, I guess? It seemed bad for her, anyway. I think her injuries shamed Mel into settling the strike. Anyway it’s a good lesson to not learn US labor law by watching Alice.
Flo leaves so she can start her own spinoff series, and she gets replaced with … uh … her cousin or maybe sister or someone who’s a lot like her except she doesn’t have that great “Kiss my grits” catchphrase to fall back on.
There’s definitely one where a wrecking ball smashes through the diner, right? I couldn’t be imagining that of all things?
There’s probably one where Alice’s kid gets to say No to having a Drug even though his bestest best friend forever who we never saw before or after is having them.
Mel sells the diner for the last episode so everybody has to go and achieve their lifelong dreams now and what do you know but they do.
I’m just guessing that there was one where a major character discovers like six seasons in that they never learned to read, so they learn now. But I don’t know for sure.
Not listed: the Saturday-morning cartoon spinoff of Alice which pop culture theory tells us ought to have existed. The most generally accepted hypotheses suppose that they would all be working their way around the world selling stuff from a funny Wienermobile-like contraption with astounding powers, possibly including flight and the ability to operate as a submarine, and meanwhile there’s spies after them for some reason. They might have a zany pet or it might just be Alice’s flying submersible Wienermobile has a talking computer.
Considerably, as Nevada has only 16 palm trees, and they’re all on a golf course that consumes two-thirds the volume of the Colorado River to maintain
Last Friday in April
Messing with North Dakota, not you
First Friday in April
Messing with South Dakota, not you
Second Friday in April
Only a little
Third Friday in February
Last Friday in April
First Friday in May
Just picking a fight with New Hampshire
Last Friday in April
Thank you for getting things back in order
First Wednesday in April
Just checking if you’re paying attention
Third full week in May
Up to moderate mischief here
7th – 14th of March
Up to even more mischief here
Last full week of February
Now cut that out
Last Monday in April
Adorable attempt to pretend there’s trees in Wyoming
First full week of April
This is refugee Californians messing things up, right?
Third Friday in April
Last Friday in April
Not at all
First Friday following March 15
Ugh, this again?
First Friday in November
What the heck?
Reference: Stan And Ollie: The Roots Of Comedy: The Double Life Of Laurel And Hardy, Simon Louvish. With special thanks to my love without whom I’d never have realized Arbor Day isn’t the same day in every state and that some of them put a whole week to Arbor Day.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real thin man!” — Not said by Nick or Nora Charles, The Thin Man.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real treasure of the Sierra Madre!” — Not said by Fred C Dobbs, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real love story!” — Not said by Jennifer Cavalleri, Love Story.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real wizard of Oz!” — Not said by Dorothy Gale, The Wizard of Oz.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real Goldfinger!” — Not said by Goldfinger, Goldfinger.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real cool hand, Luke!” — Not said by Dragline, Cool Hand Luke.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real space odyssey!” — Not said by Dave Bowman, 2001: A Space Odyssey.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real Scrooge!” — Not said by Mr Snedrig, Scrooge.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real shape of water!” — Not signed by Elisa Esposito, The Shape of Water.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real Casablanca!” — Not said by Rick Blaine, Casablanca.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real space jam!” — Not said by Lola Bunny, Space Jam.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real planet of the apes!” — Not said by Dr Galen, Planet of the Apes.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real Wall Street!” — Not said by Gordon Gecko, Wall Street.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real Turbo!” — Not said by Turbo, Turbo.
“Yowza yowza, that’s a real Chinatown!” — Not said by Lawrence Walsh, Chinatown.
Reference: Inside Nick Rocks: The Complete Story of the Music Video Show You Remember Being On Between Mr Wizard’s World and You Can’t Do That On Television, and How it Changed the World — and Whatever Happened To “Joe From Chicago”, Dr Will Miller.
Though February has had more leap days than any other month, it has yet to have a leap second.
One-sixth of all the months with men walking on the Moon were February.
Each February contains between eight and ten percent the recommended daily allowance of vitamin B-12.
No United States President has died in February since 1924.
February in the north temperate zone has the same specific gravity as honey.
A Broadway musical comedy based on February opened in the Broadhurst Theater on the 14th of May, 1951. It closed after 40 performances. Music by Sammy Fain, book by E Y ‘Yip’ Harburg and Fred Saidy.
February has the worst home-field advantage (422-398 over the last ten years) but the smallest visiting-team disadvantage (49.39% winning average over all recorded seasons) of any of the major-league months.
Though April remains the cruelest month, February is the month most likely to bring up a slightly shameful in-joke at a moment it will embarrass you.
Februaries that start on Sunday (or, on European calendars, Monday) are the best months of all according to bookish, nerdy seven-year-olds who believe they know The Rules that everything should follow to be neat and orderly. EXCEPT FEBRUARIES DURING LEAP YEAR.
Famous February births include: Jack Benny, orange (the color), Saturn’s moon Mimas, the Renaissance, sneezing, orange (the fruit), and Barry Bostwick.
Reference: Marking Time: The Epic Quest to Invent the Perfect Calendar, Duncan Steel. Which is not even the ONLY BOOK I HAVE about calendars written by a guy named “Duncan”.
The Canter and Siegel Green Card spam on Usenet introduced the Internet to mass unsolicited commercial advertising.
The Dow Jones Industrial Average topped 2,000 points for the first time.
The world’s longest Monopoly game reached into four days, with Parker Brothers sending emergency supplies of cash to keep the game going (despite the game rules specifying that the bank shall issue scrip when the official cash runs out).
A scandal in salad-oil inventory storage endangered the American Express corporation.
A giant panda was brought into the United States for the first time.
W.C.Fields made his screen debut in the silent comedy shorts Pool Sharks and His Lordship’s Dilemma.
Reference: The Forgotten Network: DuMont and the Birth of American Television, David Weinstein.