Statistics Saturday: What My Mail Looks Like


Omitted for clarity: the letters that got rained on because it was a little wet today.

No Mail: 22%. Not Enough Mail: 32%. Mail I Don't Want To Deal With: 5%. Wrong Kind of Mail: 41%.

Source: The Big Rich: The Rise And Fall Of The Greatest Texas Oil Fortunes, Bryan Burrough.

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Statistics Saturday: Some Sequels Given The Subtitle ‘2000’


  • Blade Runner 2000
  • Star Trek 2000
  • Toy Story 2000
  • Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey: 2000
  • Step Up 2000 The Streets
  • Grease 2000
  • Back To The Future 2000
  • Death Race 2000: 2000
  • Indiana Jones 2000
  • Bridget Jones 2000
  • Godzilla Versus 2000
  • Face/Off 2000
  • French Connection 20000
  • Superman 2000
  • From Russia With Love 2000
  • For 2000 Dollars More
  • xXx: MM
  • Spy Kids 2000
  • The Matrix 2000
  • 2010: 2001 2000

Statistics Saturday: Some TV Show Episodes I’m Still Angry About Decades Later


  1. That “Lash Rambo” episode of The New WKRP In Cincinnati.
  2. The one where Worf’s Brother saves this village from a planet-wrecking crisis and everybody acts like he’s the jerk.
  3. The Mary Tyler Moore Show where Ted Baxter gets a job as a game-show host that he’d be great at, and everyone pressures him to give that up so he can go on being a local-news anchor who’s not any good at it.
  4. That Aladdin where Iago gets the Genie’s powers, and he makes a mess of things his first day and feels like a total failure, even though, what, you figured you were going to be an expert the first time you tried something? Why is this talking parrot unrealistic about the speed of his ability to master genie powers?
  5. The Star Trek: The Next Generation where the Evil Admiral built an illegal cloaking device and everybody’s all smugly disdainful of him but they use it anyway because doing without would be a little inconvenient and nobody calls them out for this hypocrisy.
  6. The Far Out Space Nuts where their Lunar Module got stolen, but the planet has a machine that can duplicate anything, and Chuck McCann gives the thing a picture of the Lunar Module and the machine makes a really big duplicate of the picture, and he and Bob Denver were expecting it to make a new spaceship for them because what were they expecting?
  7. The 1980s Jetsons where Elroy accidentally stows away on the Space Shuttle.

Also, while I do not remember this at all, Wikipedia claims this wa the plot of a 1987-season episode:

George discovers that he has become stressed out lately due to his teeth, so his dentist creates special false teeth to relax him—but end up stressing him out even more.

I assume the episode guide writer is being wry.

Statistics Saturday: The Major Star Trek Characters Ordered By Appearances In Episode Or Movie Titles


Star Trek: Discovery not included because I’ve been avoiding spoilers including episode title lists so la la la la do not tell me I can not hear you la la la.

Character Title Appearances
Q 6
Data 4
Mudd 3
Bashir 2
Spock 2
Dax 1
Khan 1
Quark 1
Sarek 1
Troi 1
Archer 0
Beverley Crusher 0
Chakotay 0
Chapel 0
Chekov 0
Guinan 0
Janeway 0
Kes 0
Kim 0
Kira 0
Kirk 0
LaForge 0
Mayweather 0
McCoy 0
Neelix 0
O’Brien 0
Odo 0
Paris 0
Phlox 0
Picard 0
Pulaski 0
Rand 0
Reed 0
Riker 0
Sato 0
Scott 0
Seven 0
Sisko 0
Sulu 0
T’Pol 0
Torres 0
Tucker 0
Tuvok 0
Uhura 0
Wesley Crusher 0
Worf 0
Yar 0

No, neither Mayweather nor Chakotay were actually significant characters. They are included to be nice.

Statistics Saturday: Some Things That Yeah, We’ve Tried Already, They Didn’t Work


  • Turning it off and back on again.
  • Going back into the other room and thinking what we wanted to come in here for.
  • Club soda.
  • Writing an apology for losing our temper, at least, since it is true to say we were wrong to do that.
  • Trigonometric substitution.
  • Offering it again, with a raisin as treat.
  • Unplugging and replugging it.
  • Putting “make to-do list” as the first item on the to-do list.
  • Counting the seconds off.
  • Putting a plastic ruler on top of the drawing tablet to make the reference lines.
  • Drop-catching the pinball.
  • Translating the sentence into Latin to see if its meaning is clear.
  • Screaming into the pillow.
  • Keeping a log of every time this happens so you can prove you aren’t imagining it.
  • Dedicating 15 minutes a day to resolving e-mails until there’s only like a couple dozen in there.
  • Jiggling the key.
  • Putting both spellings into Google to see if one’s way more common than the other.
  • Preemptively striking.
  • Having a little tray on the endtable for all keys.
  • Celery. Lots and lots of celery. All the celery.

Oh! But a slant rhyme, I bet that’s exactly what we need!

Statistics Saturday: The Numbers Zero Through Twelve In Alphabetical Order With A Mistake To Lure Some Know-It-All Into Commenting


  1. 8
  2. 11
  3. 5
  4. 4
  5. 9
  6. 1
  7. 7
  8. 6
  9. 10
  10. 3
  11. 12
  12. 2
  13. 0

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index fell five points today as everyone reviewed the list above and held their breath.

351

Statistics Saturday: Apollo Lunar Landings, By Day


I certainly hope this clears up some things!

There've been two times Lunar Modules with people aboard were on the moon the 20st and 21st of a month. There was one time a LM with people aboard was on the moon the 1st, 2nd, 5th, 6th, 11th through 14th, 19th, 22nd through 24th, 30th, or 31st of a month. There's never been one the 3rd, 4th, 7th through 10th, 15th through 18th, or 25th through 29th of the month.
Source: Oh, come on, like anyone couldn’t rattle off the dates that (say) the Apollo 16 Lunar Module was on the surface of the Moon with its complement of astronauts, Commander Astronaut Commander Guy, Lunar Module Pilot Pilot Person, and Command Module Pilot Ed Harris aboard? This hardly needs sourcing. We’re not savages.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index rose four points, no thanks to Lisa who’s still walking around and mentioning stuff about “deal memos” just loudly enough that everybody knows what she thinks she’s doing. We’re not taking her bait on the intimations of some kind of Dutch TV producers being involved either.

365

Statistics Saturday: Some Answers


  • North Dakota in the year 1822.
  • Myoglobin.
  • It has none.
  • The square root of two raised to the square root of two power.
  • Cuckoo clocks.
  • Offenbach’s The Tales of Hoffmann.
  • The Hartford Whalers.
  • SS Ideal-X.
  • Hexagons.
  • Polymerization.
  • The pathetic fallacy.
  • Saw the board into two halves; combine the two halves to make a whole, and then climb out through the [w]hole.
  • Pointillism.
  • 95 percent.
  • Dormer windows.
  • Walk The Moon.
  • James Irwin.
  • Violincello.
  • Doyenne, D-o-y-e-n-n-e. Doyenne.
  • Had you considered the village barber might be a woman?

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index dropped three points today, owing to traders getting all sulky when I told them that while I appreciated their idea about an imaginary HGTV show talled Tiny McMansions, there was no way I could build that up to one of my big-size weekly essays and I wasn’t going to try. Lisa went off fuming and saying she was going to put together a pilot episode.

328

Statistics Saturday: What The Days This Week Have Felt Like


Day Felt Like
Sunday Sunday
Monday Monday
Tuesday Weeping
Wednesday Thursday
Thursday Friday
Friday A Pillow Full Of Bunny Kisses
Saturday Take-Out From The Chinese Place With The Fake Vegetarian Chicken So Good You Kind Of Don’t Want To Check If It’s Real Chicken And They’re Just Lying

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index rose another sixteen points as investors decided that the week has just gone that well, what with having the gridiron thing explained and how the water bill turned out to be just exactly what everyone figured so they don’t have to worry about it being too high or suspiciously low.

291

Statistics Saturday: Books Making The Case Against


To give some balance. You know.

  • The Case Against Sugar, Gary Taubes.
  • The Case Against William, Mark Gimenez.
  • The Case Against the Supreme Court, Erwin Chemerinsky.
  • The Case Against Satan, Ray Russell.
  • The Case Against DynCorp, Ryan Zimmerman.
  • The Case against Perfection: Ethics in the Age of Genetic Engineering, Michael J Sandel.
  • The Case Against Tongues: Weighing up the Evidence, Gordon L Swanepoel.
  • The Case Against Homework: How Homework Is Hurting Our Children and What We Can Do about It, Sara Bennett, Nancy Kalish.
  • The Case Against Standardized Testing: Raising the Scores, Ruining the Schools, Alfie Kohn.
  • The Case against Sugar: Your guide to quitting Sugar and Breakfast and Baby Recipes with Zero or Low Sugar Content, Stacy Kennedy.
  • The Case Against Happiness, Jean-Paul Pecqueur.
  • The Case Against the Modern World: A Crash Course in Traditionalist Thought, Daniel Schwindt.
  • The case against railway nationalisation, Edwin A Pratt.
  • The Case Against Spirit Photographs, C Vincent Patrick.
  • The Case against Origen and Reincarnation, Eric Liberatos.
  • The Case Against Paul Raeburn, John Creasey.
  • The Case against Joining the Common Market, Paul Einzig.
  • The Case Against Socrates, Earl Jay Perel.
  • The Case Against Diodore and Theodore, John Behr.
  • The Case Against Consequentialism Reconsidered, Nikil Mukerji.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index dropped three points and we’ve maybe beaten the whole Belgian cricket diet bubble by asking the Another Blog, Meanwhile trading floor to try eating some. It’s a small measure but hey, every little bit helps.

226

Statistics Saturday: Books Making The Case For


  • The Case For Impeachment, Allan J Lichtman.
  • The Case For Jamie, Brittany Cavallaro.
  • The Case For Loving: The Fight For Interracial Marriage, Selina Alko, Sean Qualls.
  • The Case For Heaven: Near-Death Experiences As Evidence of the Afterlife, Mally Cox-Chapman.
  • The Case For Israel, Alan Dershowitz.
  • The Case For The UFO, M K Jessup.
  • The Case For Anthroposophy, Owen Barfield.
  • The Case For US Nuclear Weapons In The 21st Century, Brad Roberts.
  • The Case For Socialism (Second Edition), Alan Maass, Howard Zinn.
  • The Case For The Cruising Trimaran, Jim Brown.
  • The Case For The King James Bible, D A Waite.
  • The Case For Polytheism, Steven Dillon.
  • The Case For Animal Rights, Tom Regan.
  • The Case For A Basic Income, Robert Jameson.
  • The Case For Mars: The Plan To Settle The Red Planet And Why We Must, Robert Zubrin, Richard Wagner.
  • The Case For Bureaucracy: A Public Administration Polemic, Charles T Goodsell.
  • The Case For The Corporate Death Penalty: Restoring Law And Order On Wall Street, Mary Kreiner Ramirez, Steven A Ramirez.
  • The Case For Impeachment: The Legal Argument for Removing President George W Bush From Office, Dave Lindorff, Barbara Olshansky.
  • The Case For Greatness: Honorable Ambition and its Critics, Robert Faulkner.
  • The Case for The Enlightenment: Scotland and Naples 1680-1760, John Robertson.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index dropped sixteen points today in trading that could be called “lower”, or also “dramatically lower”, but to be honest who can focus on something like that anymore?

208

Statistics Saturday: Some Minor Hassles Made More Exciting By Labelling Them “The Great ___ Fiasco”


  • The Great Dead-Battery-In-The-Radio-Set-Clock Fiasco
  • The Great Trying-To-Put-My-Ancient-iPad-Back-On-A-Data-Plan-That-Somehow-Requires-A-Lengthy-Discussion-Among-The-Sales-Staff-And-The-Manager-Apologizing-And-Offering-Me-An-Amazon-Firestick-Whatever-That-Is Fiasco
  • The Great Trimming-The-Branch-That-Keeps-Dropping-In-Front-Of-The-Satellite-TV-Dish Fiasco
  • The Great Breakfast-Nook-Light-Fixture-Falling-Off-Hitting-My-Love-On-The-Head Fiasco
  • The Great Can’t-Buy-An-HD-Antenna-That-Adequately-Picks-Up-Local-Channels Fiasco
  • The Great Tried-To-Use-iTunes-To-Listen-To-A-Thing Fiasco
  • The Great Struggling-To-Take-A-Photo-At-The-Amusement-Park-Where-I-Look-Neither-Asleep-Nor-Bug-Eyed Fiasco
  • The Great How-Do-We-Get-Our-Saw-Out-Of-The-Weed-Tree-Trunk-That’s-Heavier-Than-We-Thought Fiasco
  • The Great Me-Trying-To-Get-A-Large-Pop-With-That-In-The-Midwest Fiasco

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index continued its slide today, falling another 22 points despite attempts to rally traders behind the news that the 1st of July is less likely to be a Saturday (or Thursday) than it is any other day of the week and therefore shouldn’t they feel special that they got to see one like this? There won’t be another one like it until 2023, after all. This did nothing to help.

220

Statistics Saturday: Reuters’ Science Headlines All Jumbled Up


  • Kepler telescope finds tiny Utah human origins
  • Moroccan fossils provides new technique to size up skin, hair in pigs
  • Einstein’s theory making ‘preliminary’ preparations for NASA astronaut corps
  • In major breakthrough, firm for manned lunar mission makes breakthrough
  • China’s quantum satellite regenerates Mars rover scientist, SpaceX engineer
  • China shake up understanding of life-friendly planets
  • 10 more possible stars in secure communications
  • Join

OK, that last one doesn’t make sense but I had the word left over and it seemed like cheating not to use it.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index dropped twelve points which was so much of a relief that it jumped back up another six points again, and then slacked off two points since it was so close to the end of the day.

266

Statistics Saturday: Devo’s “Are We Not Men” By Content


This. This is the sort of thing that happens when you let me put on the crazy grab bag of stuff that I call music. I get to listening to the Devo album I bought because I figured I liked that one song so why not? Also, you know, stringing out words into alphabetical order like this produces a bunch of interesting other word blocks. Yes, I am thinking particularly of the one that starts “do evolving from glue go God”. But really isn’t the most startling thing about this the discovery that “Are We Not Men?” is not in fact more than fifty percent of the song? No, it is not. Next week: They Might Be Giants’ “Particle Man” unless I get a better offer or maybe consider Sparks’s “Let The Monkey Drive”. also I know what you’re thinking and that strand is ‘now okay pool our pinheads’. Not ‘poot’.

Pie chart with the words of Devo's song Jocko Homo ('Are We Not Men') in alphabetical order going clockwise around the chart. Most words appear 0 percent of the time because it rounds off, but 'are' is 16% of the song, 'we' 19%, 'not' a mere 9%, 'men' 8%, and 'Devo' or 'D-E-V-O' 11% in total.
The most starting thing about this? Learning that the song is not technically called “Are We Not Men” but rather is a pair of words in the middle of the song where nobody even heard them.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index rose two points today after investors noticed on reuters.com a commodities listing for some kind of sale of Palladium, which is the sort of thing that it seems like they should be tracking, even though if they’re reading the listing right it didn’t rise or fall or anything and just kind of filled up space.

216

Statistics Saturday: E.T. Fitted Into The Titles Of The Air Bud Cinematic Universe


  • E.T. The Extraterrestrial
  • E.T. Golden Receiver
  • E.T. World Pup
  • E.T. Seventh Inning Fetch
  • E.T. Spikes Back
  • Air E.T.s
  • Snow E.T.s
  • Space E.T.s
  • Santa E.T.s
  • Spooky E.T.s
  • Treasure E.T.s
  • Super E.T.s
  • The Search For Santa E.T.
  • Santa E.T. 2: The E.T. Pups

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index rose four points today as traders got caught up on watching Conan O’Brien on the DVR.

198

Statistics Saturday: Milestones In This Current Cough


Day Event
Sunday Little nagging sensation that I’m coughing a bit more than normal and feel all achy and hot.
Monday I hear nothing after 11:18 am because of my uninterrupted coughing fit
Tuesday Temporary suspension of the tooth-brushing routine because the sudden spasms from my lungs and the toothpaste foam and the irritation in my throat lining create such a bad situation, such a bad situation.
Wednesday Boss excuses me from the planned two-hour conference call with a promise that he’d call back and catch me up and wrap up some loose ends, which he has yet to do.
Thursday Broke the key by trying to wind up the clock and I coughed at the wrong moment and do you know how many different size keys there are for mantle clocks? There’s easily more than six.
Friday Sleep is a lie, a distant faded memory never to be attained again in my life.
Saturday Oh, that’s a good bit better actually.

Another Blog, Meanwhile Index

The index dropped eight points as investors’ attention was captured by rumors the bagel place had the tomato tortellini soup today and what implications this might have for the flavored cream cheese they’re offering for bagels.

200