I Don’t Know What’s Going On In Apartment 3-G Anymore


Prepended, 23 November 2015: Hi again. For what I have to imagine is my last review of Apartment 3-G plotting please look to last Friday’s entry. For a couple guesses about the sad state of comics in the post-3-G world there’s Sunday’s essay. Overall, it’s been a terrible year for comic strips, not just for Apartment 3-G. Also yes, the rumors are true: Edge City is coming to an end.


Prepended, 23 September 2015: Hi. I’ve seen a good number of people finding this page as they try to figure out what’s going on in Apartment 3-G. I’m happy to be of service. I’ve taken to following closely enough the big pile of — for summer 2015 — absolutely nothing that’s been happening.

To that end, and to help the confused follow along, I’ve been updating fairly regularly as nothing progresses. The most recent explanations of the nothing going on can usually be found by looking at the Apartment 3-G tag. They should be available through the link in this paragraph. To sum up: since writing this, I have worked out what’s going on in Apartment 3-G, and that is nothing. But I am trying to keep people up to date on what kind of nothing is going on. Thank you for reading.

The thing is that the article after the horizontal rule here was written to describe the mess that was Apartment 3-G‘s summer 2014 storyline. And that was a big sloppy mess, yes, but somehow less inept than 2015’s, possibly because it was shorter even after the action stalled out for six weeks straight. But I don’t want to confuse people who’re already confused by 2015’s failed storyline by explaining 2014’s failed storyline without warning.


I’m not embarrassed to admit I have no idea what’s going on in the comic strip Apartment 3-G anymore. Last year saw a crushing pile of dullness stacked upon other piles of dullness, in a story about a wounded deer-kangaroo-fox-nightmare hybrid that never actually did anything. Now, I don’t even follow the action well enough to say what’s supposed to be going on. All I’m confident in is that the scenes are becoming some experimental drama, where all the dialogue is mixtures of atomized conversation, any line of which might make sense, but which in sequence, don’t seem to mean anything.

Margo is angry with Sam about something or other. And Skyler is the new Bond Villain.
Frank Bolle and Margaret Shulock’s Apartment 3-G for the 15th of March, 2015. I’ve followed the backstory but don’t understand it either.

In Monday’s strip I guess that Lu Ann has brought some homemade jam by some means to Martin’s hotel room, although, how? I’d like to think she’s brought a proper Yogi Bear-class picnic basket through the streets of Manhattan to deliver a mason jar of plotberry juice to Martin, who I guess has something to do with something that might be happening to someone, somewhere, but that’s entirely my imagination. I guess it’s nice that the strip is leaving us free to decide stuff like that, but it feels like they’ve given up on drawing anybody or anything below the shoulders.

Lu Ann surprises Martin with some homemade jam, which is alleged to exist, and might even be strawberry, I guess.
Frank Bolle and Margaret Shulock’s Apartment 3-G for the 16th of March, 2015.

Also apparently in the 3-G universe the next James Bond film is going to have a woman as villain, which could be cool, especially since the current actor in-continuity used to date 3-G personality Margo, who broke up with him when she remembered she has to either break up with or kill all her fiancees, and it just didn’t feel right to kill the guy playing James Bond, I guess.

Anyway, my mathematics blog has a roundup of comic strips that did Pi Day stuff, or did mathematical topics somewhere in the past week, and if you wanted to read that instead I don’t think you’d be doing too badly.

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Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there.

7 thoughts on “I Don’t Know What’s Going On In Apartment 3-G Anymore”

  1. This has been bugging me for three days. Sometimes these serialized comics get so bogged down in canon that it’s hard for new readers to pick up in the middle. Here’s a little something to fill in some of the gaps.

    Previously on Apartment 3-G:

    While on her way to the Diner, career coach Margo is stunned by the sudden appearance of Sam from behind a nearby potted plant.

    Years earlier, back when people still said, “Gosh”, Sam had gone into the kitchen to get some mint jelly for his leg of lamb, only to vanish mysteriously.

    After moonlighting at a sports bar in Boston ever since his disappearance, Sam come to the realization that he can no longer work with Diane because she insists he wear a tie. Sam’s tie is at the cleaners because Lu Ann spilled strawberry jam on it, and his tieless neck has created too much unresolved sexual tension with Diane.

    In a moment of candor, Sam lets this slip to Margo. Margo is unsure how to react, because she has no earthly clue who Diane is. (She only remembers Sam because everybody knows his name.) Her insecurity about not knowing whether she should be happy about Sam’s employment status vis-a-vis Diane causes her to lash out.

    This takes Sam by surprise. He realizes that Margo may not have been the one who asked him to pass the mint jelly, but might instead be the woman who poisoned his cat. Asking for clarification, Margo explains that due to her impending appointment to check Skyler’s job status, she has time neither for Sam’s friendship nor to explain the whole thing with the cat, so she gives him the brush-off. Before leaving, Sam offers Margo a goodbye hug. Unfortunately, in all the drama, he completely forget the dish of mint jelly he was holding, and inadvertently gets it all over her shoulders, just as he had all those years ago in Marrakesh. Luckily for Margo, this time the condiment blends into her green trench coat.

    Inside, Margo is greeted by her friend Skyler, who has been temping at SPECTRE. Skyler has just learned that she has been offered a permanent position in the Bond villain accounting department. Margo realizes that Skyler will not require any employment counseling this week, and quickly terminates the encounter to go find a damp cloth for her coat.

    Meanwhile, at the Towers Hotel, Martin is searching for clues regarding Sam’s mysterious disappearance when he is surprised by Lu Ann. Lu Ann has filled his tub with strawberry jam. Martin questions the reality of said jam, as on her last visit Lu Ann had brought imaginary raspberry preserves, leaving Martin with a mouthful of bread and chunky peanut butter. The scene ends on the unresolved sexual tension implied by Martin’s scurrilous lack of neckwear.

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