Granting That This Is a Problem I’m Not Likely to Have to Solve

So this is about the Papacy. I can’t decide whether there needs to be a Pope Sixtus VI to make a perfectly complete set, or whether it’s perfect there were only five Sixtuses. And yes, I understand, it’s not a problem I am likely to need to deal with. But, you know, the world is complicated and weird and I’m still looking for work. And they’ll need a new Pope someday. So, if I were to become Pope, I would need a regnal name. I mean I guess I could go out as “Pope Joseph” but I feel like that’s probably a name already busy enough in Catholic lore, you know, between the Technicolor-Dreamcoat guy and the father-of-Jesus thing. Oh, and Arimathea. I know that name too. (The name is Joseph.) So would Sixtus VI be improving things or making them worse? Anyway it’s nice to have some problem that it’s okay if I don’t solve for a change.

(Note to self: if I should get the Pope job, check on what some of these earlier Sixtuses did and see if I want to remind anybody of them.)

Author: Joseph Nebus

I was born 198 years to the day after Johnny Appleseed. The differences between us do not end there. He/him.

4 thoughts on “Granting That This Is a Problem I’m Not Likely to Have to Solve”

  1. Has Pope Popeye been taken yet? It has a certain order to it that I’d think would appeal to you, all you need do is eat spinach, squint one eye and mutter under your breath,while wearing those arm applications Robin Williams wore (or a close copy of same) Day one: Smoke drifts out your pipe and you say” Oh,white smoke,I guess it’sk offiskal I am what I am and now Pope is I am.”


    1. I haven’t yet heard of a Pope Popeye, but given how I keep typing extra letters after “Pope” it’s got to be something we get ready for!

      I would generally trust Popeye for a position that’s meant to be about standing up for the needful and spreading a message of universal brotherhood, even if it’s been a while since there was a Pope who’d clobber you if you needed clobbering.


    1. Don’t know! I am definitely going to have to do some quick Wikipedia-checking before picking my regnal name as Pope. Again, that’s in case I do get the job, which I don’t figure is likely to happen this month.


Please Write Something Funnier Than I Thought To

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: