What’s Going On In Mark Trail? Why is Diana Daggers in this story? January – April 2024

In-universe, she’s in the story because she got Mark Trail hired to report on a story she had. She wanted a journalist who wouldn’t be fazed if things turned into punching a lot. She did something or other with Instigator Magazine to get Bill Ellis to hire Mark Trail without telling him who Mark Trail would work with. I’m not sure why she needed the deceit. Mark Trail was talked into it once he met her.

I suspect the real reason is Jules Rivera liking Diana Daggers as a character. And may reason that it’s better to have this sort of secondary role be filled by someone she enjoys writing. It does suggest Daggers has an odd career that tracks Mark Trail’s.

This should catch you up to mid-April 2024 in Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail. I’ll likely have my next plot recap up around July 2024, so look here if you’re after that time, or if any news about the comic breaks. For now, on to the animal-related antics!

Mark Trail.

14 January – 7 April 2024.

Mark Trail’s adventure in running an outdoor camp enjoyed its conclusion, about as I wrote up the last plot recap. Mark Trail’s cheer at enduring people having emotions evaporates when editor Bill Ellis calls. Ellis has a story about invasive horses in the United States southwest. Mark Trail is stunned to consider that wait … that’s right, they are invasive, aren’t they? Yeow.

Mark Trail’s contact in Utah is … wait, is that the southwest? Well, never mind. His contact is Diana Daggers, who concealed her identity from Bill Ellis so Mark Trail wouldn’t get even weirder about the job. She lays out why this is a story worthy of Instigator Magazine. The Bureau of Land Management has been managing wild horse populations … wait, are horses land? Well, never mind. They’re manageable … wait, are horses manageable? My experience with horse people tells me no, but you can usually get to an emergency room well enough.

Well, never mind. The Bureau of Land Management has been sending loud helicopters, beating at 120 dB, to round up horses. The horses get sold at auction for a dollar a head, with many of the horses getting sold to slaughterhouses. And if you think that’s depressing, you’re just now learning about animal welfare issues. Daggers, meanwhile, thinks the Bureau of Land Management is clearing the land at the behest of a developer. Wait, would the federal government put its power at the beck and call of someone rich? The whole of United States history says “the federal government went looking for someone rich they could service, actually”. But you can’t have rich people without having poor people trying to do the right thing, and that’s Clayton with the Happy Hooves horse rescue. They shelter horses. They also give long-lasting anti-fertility drugs, which control horse populations without requiring deaths.

Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail for the 25th of March, 2024. You might think Tad Crass hasn’t said much one way or another, but understand, he doesn’t want his old TV-show fans to learn that he’s now half-man, half-desk.

The land developer turns out to be Tad Crass, former stunt TV comedian and the dingbat who had an AI “write” a camp guide that almost got a guy killed. Mark Trail asks why Crass is using the federal government to clear horses on and around his land. Crass answers by ordering his security guards to beat Mark Trail up. Mark Trail punches some, and escapes more, saving his recorder with its precious … lack of anything said by Tad Crass … on it. And that’s where Mark Trail’s gotten.

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Cherry Trail’s story begins with the Lost Forest talent show. Sunny Soleil Society chair Violet Cheshire does well with her harp solo, but gets upstaged by Doc Davis and Banjo Cat. Banjo Cat is Doc’s new adoptee, and the cat loves hanging out and singing when Doc plays banjo. Cheshire’s totally normal feelings about Banjo Cat get validation when knocks over her harp. (She and Cherry were moving it into the Society building). Cherry wants to know: why can’t he keep his cat indoors?

Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail for the 13th of March, 2024. “At least he was never part of some weird plagiarized self-help promotional scheme!”

Doc explains that Banjo Cat’s a stray that was happy to get food and shelter when wanted, but wants to be an outdoor cat. But learning how many birds outdoor cats kill a year unsettles Doc. And he’s horrified when a car narrowly misses hitting Banjo Cat. Banjo Cat, luckily, wants inside the Sunny Soleil Society building. Turns out Banjo Cat just wants to play with the harp and show up that Libby who thinks she’s so great. So a happy resolution for now.

Sunday Animals Watch!

Actually there are animals around almost every day of the week, but here’s ones that got featured in a Sunday informational strip:

• Largemouth Bass, 14 January 2024.
• Spotted Lanternflies, 21 January 2024.
• Domestic Cats, 28 January 2024.
• Mustangs, 4 February 2024.
• Grater Sage-Grouses, 11 February 2024.
• Grasshopper Mice, 18 February 2024.
• Desert Tortoises, 25 February 2024.
• Cicadas and lots of them, 3 March 2024.
• Crows and Ravens, 10 March 2024.
• Shamrocks, 17 March 2024.
• Bighorn Sheep, 24 March 2024.
• Chernobyl Wolves, 31 March 2024.
• “Recyclable” Plastic, 7 April 2024.

Next Week!

You know who’s great? Like, really great? Really, really great? Mary Worth. Yeah, that Mary Worth is a really, really, really great person. You know who’s as great as Mary Worth? I don’t know, I don’t know if there can even be someone great in the ways Mary Worth is great, and even if they’re great in ways Mary Worth is not great — and are the ways Mary Worth is not great really that great after all? — are they greater than Mary Worth is great? So we’ll go through three months’ worth of Karen Moy and June Brigman’s Mary Worth and how great Mary Worth is. Great!

What’s Going On In Mark Trail? Why didn’t the Ohio cops arrest Mark Trail? July – October 2023

When we last saw Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail, Mark and his father were escaping a disastrous press conference where State Senator Sam Smalls pronounced them rioters. It turns out that Sam Smalls was on the take, as the kids say in old-time-radio cop shows, and the Trails led the police to the evidence, particularly in trafficked exotic animals. So you can see why they decided not to prosecute the Trails for punching them and fleeing arrest.

If this seems unsatisfactory to you … well, I admit it feels like a gap to me too. I suppose it fits with the old story motif that the good guys are cleared, or forgiven, whatever their transgressions were. Remember how funny it was that time the Mayor of Townsville explained to the Powerpuff Girls that it’s still illegal to break out of jail even if you broke out to catch the people who framed you for a different crime? It wouldn’t be a joke if not for stories that used this gimmick.

I hope here to catch you up to late October 2023 in Mark Trail. If you’re reading this after about January 2024, or want to see my other Mark Trail essays, look here. If you want to follow on the Rex Scorpius adventures, keep on reading here.

Mark Trail.

31 July – 21 October 2023.

Stunt driver Rex Scorpius and his Mom carried Mark Trail and his Dad away from the alleged riot. At the Scorpius’s campsite they review what they know. Mostly, that it’s crazy Senator Smalls labelled them rioters and demanded their arrest. Happy Trail knows the genre he’s in. He figures Smalls is taking bribes from shipping company DuckDuckGooose. Seems reasonable, but how to prove it?

Mark Trail’s idea: make a big noise and see who starts shooting at them. From this I learn Mark Trail’s been reading a lot of noir detective stories. The next day he begins a live stream on … something … while riding in Rex Scorpius’s racecar. I don’t understand live streaming, sorry. But the plan is a success. The blend of high-speed driving and alarming news about train operations and vinyl chlorides draws in the viewers. And also Professor Bee Sharp.

I’d mentioned last time it was odd Bee Sharp, spokes-scientist for DuckDuckGooose Shipping, hadn’t appeared in the story. He turned up right after my last check-in to report how everything was great, what’s to worry about? But now he’s calling in to the Mark Trail drivestream to report: DuckDuckGooose faked him! They made an AI face and body scam of him to say whatever they want. He barely got paid to have his identity ripped off, while Senator Smalls got a freaking wildebeest from them.

So now the drivesteam has a target: Senator Smalls’s mansion to see if he has got a wildebeest there. They arrive at the same time as the cops and find, yeah, Smalls wanted a wildebeest (and other bribes) to see about loosening rail and chemical safety rules in Ohio. So the Senator’s in trouble and the Trails (and Scorpiuses) are not, and we’re to a happy end.

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Mark Trail’s current story began the 4th of September. But before that, let me share Cherry Trail’s stories. She’d started out with a story about bee colony collapse. The bees heisted from the statue of the Forest Pioneer were dying off. But once you’ve stopped poisoning them, what can you do? Especially when they mostly need easy food to build strength to overcome the mites preying on them?

Fortunately the Sunny Soleil Society has an emergency. This may seem like fortunate timing but, you know, Violet Cheshire has a lot of emergencies. In this case: she’s got way too much hibiscus, which the Sunny Soleil Society President is deathly allergic to. Cherry Trail has to get them out anywhere, and you know what’s good for Georgia bees? So that’s two problems that nicely cancel each other out, once you do a lot of hibiscus transplanting.

Her new story, which began the 18th of September, started with her era’s greatest terror: someone asking if they might have a word with you. Someone’s been leaving accusatory notes about the kudzu on people’s properties. Cherry Trail’s the obvious if not only suspect, except the notes are in cursive so she’s out. Honest Ernest points them to Squirrelly Sandy, proprietor of the bakery and definitely someone who has a lecture ready to go about feeding squirrels peanuts. (Peanuts should not be a squirrel’s only food. But if you’re going to feed it to them, roast the nuts at about 300 Fahrenheit for a half-hour. This kills a fungus that could otherwise be a problem. Plus it makes your home smell of roast peanuts.) She’s quickly won over by Cherry Trail’s anti-what-is-this-Kudzu-Crusader’s-weird-deal energy.

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Meanwhile Mark Trail’s story features his son Rusty. Also Rusty’s friends. After they successfully were not eaten by the bassigator they’re looking for something even more paranormal: aliens. There’s a video of weird lights in the Lost Forest and weird rumors about something out there. Mark Trail leads the gang on an expedition where he gets to show off that he knows how to find north using a compass or moss. (He doesn’t show the analog clock face trick. Look it up, it’s wild.) Also that he can buy pizza anytime he wants.

They don’t find aliens. They do find a weird spot, though. It looks like a campsite, except someone left behind a goofy rubber horse mask. It’s too late from Halloween for it to be a lost costume. There’s cans of weird pink crystals. There’s emptied cans of beans. Mark Trails suspects lost campers, but where are they?

Rusty Trail figures out the mask. It’s from the silly show Prank Starz, where host Tadd Crass would prank people. You remember, it’s from like five or six years ago. Or more precisely, twenty years ago which somehow was already the 21st century shut up maybe it’s you that’s old. It turns out Crass, these days, is hawking Himalayan salt — explaining the pink crystals. And he’s got a survival guide, written “with the help of AI”, so you know it’s going to get people killed. Question is, has it already? We’ll see, in the weeks to come. For now, it’s time for the …

Sunday Animals Watch

Who’s showing up on Sundays, often with Mark Trail himself addressing us? These animals or nature-related events:

• Varroa Mites, 30 July 2023.
• Crows, 6 August 2023.
• The Ohio River, 13 August 2023.
• Bobcats, 20 August 2023.
• Algae and Sea Otters, 27 August 2023.
• Black, Brown, and Grizzly Bears, 3 September 2023.
• Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena, and biological diversity on Earth, 10 September 2023.
• Kudzu and Goats, 17 September 2023.
• Spotted Lanternflies, 24 September 2023.
• Sharks, 1 October 2023.
• Spiders and Centipedes, 8 October 2023. Content warning: realistic depiction of a house centipede.
• Bats and White Nose Syndrome, 15 October 2023.
• Coywolves, 22 October 2023. (Coyote-wolf hybrids.)

Next Week!

Karen Moy and June Brigman’s Mary Worth has stepped up its game, going for wedding after wedding — and now pre-marital sex so far offscreen it happened when Tadd Crass was on TV! We’ll look at those goings-on next week, all going well.

What’s Going On In Mark Trail? Why is Mark Trail worked up about NFTs? October 2021 – January 2022

In the last scene of The Stingiest Man In Town, the 1978 Rankin/Bass adaptation of A Christmas Carol, Scrooge tells Cratchit to burn some more coal. Cratchit asks if that’s good for business and Scrooge laughs it off as good for humanity. The irony is it has turned out burning coal is extremely good business, as it’s catastrophic for humanity.

So this should catch you up to early January 2022 in Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail. If news about the strip breaks, or if you’re reading this after about April 2022, a more up-to-date essay is likely here. And now let’s get on to explaining the past three months of story.

Mark Trail.

17 October 2021 – 8 January 2022.

We had two and a half stories going on when I last checked in on the Lost Forest. One was Mark Trail’s assignment with former rival/high-speed-pursuer Diana Daggers. It’s to investigate a shipping company spreading zebra mussels. One was Diana Daggers’s breakup with her pop-science star friend Professor Bee Sharp. And one was Cherry Trail’s efforts to move a bee colony before its extermination. Each has advanced some. I’ll take each strand as a separate thing.

Cherry Trail’s first. She’s been landscaping for the Sunny Soleil Society. Their statue of the Forest Pioneer got colonized by bees. Society chair Violet Cheshire hires “Honest Ernest”, the new pest control guy in town. Also husband of one of the Society members. So she calls on her friends with the Black Rose Garden Club, who plan a daring nighttime bee-relocation heist.

Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail for the 15th of December, 2021. Just wanted to brag that I saw Honest Ernest and the Exterminator Gators play at Common Ground music festival and they were a better-than-you-expect Devo cover band.

Honest Ernest and his staff intrude, though. Mark Trail arrives, fighting them back with nature facts and a shovel. It’s a powerful combo and lets the Black Rose sneak off with the bees. But there are consequences: Caroline (Ernest’s wife) complains to Cheshire about the bee-napping. Cheshire cuts through the charges and counter-charges of trespassing and whatever bee-napping would be. If the bees left on their own, why, there’s no need for a bee-extermination contract. Cherry agrees, falsely, that sometimes bees just go off somewhere else. And that, you know, the Sunny Soleil Society building likely has termites that could actually use extermination. Cheshire’s up for that and we have a settlement that’s happy except for the termites.

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Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail for the 23rd of October, 2021. The villainy here might seem unsubtle but, no, it turns out society’s villains are pretty much just this.

Mark Trail’s story next. This was about taking underwater photos of Duck Duck Goose freighters, carrying zebra mussels into new waters. Daggers thinks the photos are lousy, but Mark Trail’s old army buddy, and De-Bait Team member Cliff, likes them. Trail and Daggers work on reporting how the giant shipping company is polluting new territories. So, Duck Duck Goose sends some toughs around to bust things up.

Mark Trail, Daggers, and Cliff are able to escape, thanks in part to Daggers swiping Cherry Trail’s shovel earlier. They hole up in the De-Bait Team lodge, a more defensible retreat, or at least one that’s harder for Duck Duck Goose to find. Much of the attention shifted away from Mark to Cherry at this point. It left me confused whether the zebra-mussels storyline had dried up, when I was reading day-to-day. Like, had Mark Trail published and I missed it? No, the story was moving to the back of the stage for a bit.

Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail for the 1st of December, 2021. Wow! Where does this come from besides the entire and complete history of labor-capital interactions?

And Mark Trail continued thinking, not only how to report on Duck Duck Goose, but also how to stop them bringing zebra mussels into the Lost Forest’s waterways. In a moment that ran, for us, on Christmas Day he noted how poinsettias are not actually poisonous, but have this reputation. That “if we can look intimidating to Duck Duck Goose, it might be enough to get them out of our waters”. I don’t know what that would entail either.

Poinsettias, according to the National Capital Poison Center, can cause nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea if eaten. But they are not actually dangerous to children or pets. Quite inconvenient, though, it appears.

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And the last thread, generally, Diana Daggers’s things. She came to the zebra mussels story miserable after an unexplained breakup with Professor Bee Sharp. As Cliff and Mark Trail came over to make amends, she explained. She was getting paid with Non-Fungible Token money. Much as she misses Sharp, she couldn’t take money literally raised by destroying the planet.

Jules Rivera’s Mark Trail for the 13th of November, 2021. I mean, on the one hand, this is something that could happen at any photo session and is the result of animals being animals, and not your props. On the other hand, NFTs are ecocidal scams so if we slap them down for the wrong reasons, well, they still needed the slapping.

So “Cricket Bro” Rob Bettancourt had the brainwave to sell NFTs of all sorts of Bee Sharp-focused nonsense. Bee Sharp stuck through Daggers leaving. But he was shaken when a photo shoot results in a goat tearing his lab coat, and leaves. It pains me to admit NFTs can’t be blamed for that, although if it gets someone to stop making a mistake, fine.

We learn that when Bettancourt calls Mark Trail, offering to make him the face of his NFT projects. How this is going to fit into the zebra mussels story is not yet known. Catch you in April. We should have some idea then.

Sunday Animals Watch

So here’s what nature events we’ve been seeing on Sundays. Nearly all of them have been reflected in the weekday continuity, too. It’s a nice tight integration of things.

• Bees, 17 October 2021. Who has a bad word for bees, at this point?
• Trees, 24 October 2021. Similarly, they’re still doing a lot of great work.
• Bats, 31 October 2021. They’re doing good too although I’d like them out of the attic when convenient, please.
• Skunks, 7 November 2021. So last summer I was walking late at night and saw a skunk shuffling along. And then saw a cottontail rabbit charging at the skunk and dashing back away, charging up and dashing away. It’s the aggressive get-out-of-here move rabbits sometimes do. I got out of the area and lost them in the night after that and I just hope that scene worked out the way the rabbit imagined it would.
• Goats, 14 November 2021. Lot of people have good things to say about them.
• Bees, 21 November 2021. Look, if you’re not sold on bees by this point I don’t know what the trouble is.
• Turkeys, 28 November 2021. Everybody likes to talk about the dubious legend about how the turkey was almost the United States’s national bird, but do we ever talk about how turkeys have pretty near the same body plan as peacocks? If they’d done a little work on their coloration every New World nation would want them as national birds.
• Garden Clubs, 5 December 2021. Get yourself a garden club that’ll sneak out in the middle of the night to steal a beehive, is what we’re saying.
• Salamanders, 12 December 2021. Which have not appeared in the comic strip recently. Might be a setup to something later on.
• Climate Change, 19 December 2021. It’s hard work to do anything to remediate now, but the alternative is even more, harder work, later on.
• Poinsettias, 26 December 2021. Also, you can keep the one you get at Christmas and nurse it through the year. You have to do something I don’t understand to get them to bloom at Christmas, but it’s doable.
• Cryptocurrency, 2 January 2022. Guh. Could we please not, for once, everybody?
• Zebra mussels, 9 January 2022. Which had a Sunday panel appearance back in August, too, but the problem (and plot) have been sticking around.

Next Week!

Is Wilbur Weston dead, and why does everyone want him to be? Come with me on a CRUISE SHIP in Karen Moy and June Brigman’s Mary Worth, next week, if all goes well.